Writer's Block.

Just Write

Write about writer's block.

Well, let's see; I hate my laptop, I mean it is literally so shit. The keyboard is stiff, the typing is always slow and forced and the touchpad has no left/right buttons; it hardly works half the time! I have to use a damn mouse that's incredibly annoying. Add to the fact that I dropped my laptop at some point and the side is starting to fall apart. Ugh. I don't know what to do. Legit feel like my life is over. It's hard to work like this, with a half functioning piece of shitty equipment.

I have to admit, I am always fussing over my work. If it doesn't make sense to me then that's it, I end up quitting for the day immediately. Try again tomorrow. So not cool when you have to fight against time to meet a deadline. I used to love writing. What the hell happened? I absolutely love (d) writing fiction. Then University work got in the way and I thought okay, that's completely fine; I can always get back to the love of my life later. But then suddenly, University work got incredibly demanding and hard. Seriously hard. It's gotten to the point where I can't even bear to look at my work. I'll go as far as I can just to avoid seeing a computer or a laptop, or any type of technology (except for my phone) but you get my drift. I don't even read anymore. It's like I'm afraid. Everything has just come to a standstill. I'm scared. No, I'm terrified. I don't know why. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. I'm at the last stage of my studies and it feels as if I am standing on the cliff edge. Just one little step, one tiny slip and I fall. The crazy part is, I know I can do it. It's like I'm standing in front of a barrier and I can't break it down. I used to be the type of person who could write 3-4-5 essays in a day with a word count of 2-3000. Now? I can't handle one simple project. A 7,500 dissertation. It feels huge. A task I can't really complete in the limited time that I have. I'm writing at the pace of a snail; around less than 200 words each day. At this rate it will take me a year. I have 10 days. Fuck. My. Life.

I'm developing a migraine as I'm writing this now. Why am I doing this again? Oh yeah, apparently if I write about writers block, it will magically dissolve and I'll be cured. As if. But I suppose there's no harm in following the random guy's advice from YouTube that I watched the other day. Something's gotta give. I guess I just have to remind myself why I began this journey in the first place. This is so important for me to finish. I didn't come this far just to come this far. There's no turning back, not now. Especially not now. I guess, I have to let myself fall off that edge.

I'm going to be okay. I hope.

Probably not.