It's a funny thing that happens,
to women once a month,
It sends us on the prowl,
and leads us on a hunt.
NO one will be safe,
From a women's monthly bite.
If you say the wrong thing,
You might end up in a fight.
For no apparent reason,
She might begin to cry,
If you are somewhere near her,
You'll be the reason why.
Oh you didn't do anything wrong,
Your just in the wrong place,
My advice to you from me,
Is to just give her space.
If she ask you how she looks,
You better stop and think fast,
The answer that you give,
Might get you a kick in the #%@!
If she brings home some Chocolate
Touch it if you dare,
If you eat her Ice Cream,
Then I say to you beware.
If you see her taking a nape,
Please let her sleep,
If you wake her for no reason,
You've just disturbed the beast.
She might bite your head off,
At any given time,
She may say she's sorry,
After a glass of red wine.
She'll get up in the morning,
And try on many clothes,
Nothing will have fit her,
Not even stretchy pantyhose.
If you walk into the room,
Just ignore what you see,
Don't say a single word,
Just walk away and let it be.
Don't think that being sweet,
Might ease some of the tension,
In order to do that,
You might have to spend some of your pension.
She dose not mean it, when she says,
She hates your stupid guts,
But to her right there and then,
Your being a pain in her butt.
She'll throw things on the floor,
And say to you, clean up this mess,
When clearly its all hers,
But that, she'll never confess.
You might be safe in the bathroom,
Be sure to lock the door,
If you hear her coming closer,
It's best to hit the floor.
You may not be finish eating,
When she puts your plate in the sink,
She's just cleaning up your mess,
It's her way of trying to think.
Her head is spinning fast,
And the cramps are hard to bare,
It may not be your fault,
But you'll get it cause your there.
Oh you don't have to worry,
This will only last a week,
She'll be back to normal soon,
This is just a monthly peek.
If you happen to have survived,
The devil on her left shoulder,
It was only PMS,
Just be thankful that it's over.
