Cant't help falling in love (CAMREN)

CHAPTER 21

Camila didn't know what was happening when they brought up the small table and set the projector on it. Lauren didn't know why she had brought the reels along. Something had just told her that she should.

When that day comes, I'll thank you...

She sat up, watching as Marie placed her glasses gently on her face, laughing when she blinked blearily in confusion. Sean, Lauren's brother, was there as well.

"What...are you doing?" she breathed, watching Lauren click one of the reels into place. Lauren glanced at Camila as Marie took her place by the wall, turning the lights off. They had taken the pictures off the wall and as Lauren started up the projector, adjusting the lens, she leaned towards Camila's bed.

"Taking you to the beach," she replied.

Camila's face took on a look of total surprise and she stared at the wall. Lauren knew she hadn't breathed for a moment because she couldn't hear it - that telltale swollen sound.

The projector picked up, and suddenly, they were at the beach.

Lauren wasn't watching the wall though, she was watching Camila.

The shadows played over her face, gleaming off her glasses, and her eyes were wide and childlike as she watched the scene unfold. Marie gasped when Camila came into view on the wall, her hair thick and shiny, her whole body glowing in the sun under her windbreaker. The camera panned down the empty beach, looking at the water, and then up to look at the gulls.

The scenes changed. Lauren was standing beside a tide pool, pointing to a sea urchin and Camila, holding the camera looked at it and then at Lauren's face. Lauren grinned, and said something she couldn't remember saying.

"That's you," Camila whispered, and Lauren felt for her hand on the blanket, taking it. It wasn't as warm as usual, and the grip Camila had was weakly if barely there at all.

"That's me," she ascertained, and Sean glanced back at them, his smile watery, even in the dark.

They wandered over the beach, sat down on the blanket, and Camila read a paperback, trying to shove Lauren away when she bothered her. Lauren recorded Camila taking pictures with her Polaroid, the sun and the cliffs. Lauren held the camera out as she kissed her and Marie covered her mouth with her hands. Lauren stared at Camila, watching the tears roll down her face, her chest rising and falling, her eyes fixed on the water. On Lauren. On the beach. Lauren knew, without a doubt, that she didn't remember most of it. Her face was full of some strange, beautiful expression, eyes darting around, eating everything up.

The reel ended and Lauren fed in the next one, and it was much the same for a while. Just the two of them joking around, but then the scene became far more familiar.

Camila stood and walked a little ways from the camera before turning around. She smiled, and it was so clear what she was saying.

I love you.

Camila marveled, her whole body tingling. She knew that. She had been there. She remembered the feeling, the way it had felt to look at Lauren and say it. Like a secret she would always carry. A heart within her heart. She was looking at Lauren, not the camera. I love you. She'd waved and laughed and smiled, but it wasn't as important as what she'd said. I love you. She'd shouted it.

I love you.

"That's me," she whispered. It was her. That was her. I love you. Her. She felt Lauren squeeze her hand.

"That's you."

"That's us," Camila breathed, and Lauren looked away for a moment to compose herself. "That's us."

It was them.

The waves silently slid in and out, and when Lauren looked at them she could almost hear the sound they made every time Camila took another breath. Camila tossed a shell to the sea and the tide carried it away.

Three days later she was unable to form complete sentences. Whether it was her mind or her capacity to breathe, Lauren would never know.

She complained about her vision as well, and Marie told her they'd do what they could. She seemed to understand and didn't mention it again.

Lauren talked to her the whole day; told her about a house on an island. A white picket fence. Two old people bickering on a front porch. About the list of destinations they were going to finish together. Filled the endless silences with her own voice, recounting stories, telling her about anything she could think of.

Camila looked at her for a long time, breathing slowly, her skeletal arms awkwardly resting against her sides. She stared out at Lauren and smiled, her eyes gold and twinkling. Lauren had to wonder how much she could actually see at the time. It didn't matter, she reminded herself. Anything was always going to be better than nothing. Even if she didn't know what Lauren was talking about, Camila looked happy, and that was enough. She ran out of words at some point, and Camila had moved for the first time in hours to reach out and brush her cool hand over Lauren's sleeve. Lauren covered the chilled fingers with her own.

"You know that necklace you gave me one year for Christmas?" Lauren asked. "You said... It was...it was supposed to keep me from changing. It was supposed to keep me who I was."

Camila's fingers twitched, eyes trained on the far wall.

"I guess I figured that out too late," Lauren whispered, brushing her hand under her eyes. "I'm so sorry I couldn't be who you needed me to be, Camila."

Camila said something she couldn't make out, the last syllable the trailing "...x" sound of the tide pulling in over rocks.