Floccinaucinihilipilification

Floccinaucinihilipilification.

NOUN

[ˌfläksəˌnôsəˌnīˌhiləˌpiləfiˈkāSHən]

(FLOX-i-NAUS-i-nee-HILL-i-PILL-i-fi-CA-tion)

The action or habit of estimating something as worthless.

• • • • •

     "I floccinaucinihilipilificate your opinion," I mumbled, not looking up from the pages of my book which were fluttering slightly in the breeze.  The bothersome boy standing in front of me had a smirk on his face which, while usually signalling some form of impending irritation for the recipient, fell quite satisfactorily off.
    "You... what?" he asked, thoroughly confused.  I was glad I could still perplex him, even after all these years.  Then again, it's really not much of a challenge when the person in question makes minimal to no attempt to catch up.
     "I floccinaucinihilipilificate your opinion," I repeated, clearer this time.
 

    "Oh come on, you know I have absolutely no idea what that means!" he complained, although he wasn't really all that bothered, the poorly hidden fact of which was betrayed by his grin.
     "Yes, I am fully aware of your lack of extensive vocabular knowledge.  This is an easily remedied fault, if only you would bother trying," I informed him.  Not that I needed to, seeing as I had said virtually the same thing approximately 47 times already.  His response was also easily predicted, being the same one he gave every time.
     "You know I'm too lazy for that." There it was. "Besides, I'm not behind, you're just ahead.  Way, way ahead," he laughed.  "For goodness sake, you're three grades ahead in every class except gym, and all you do there is read anyway."
     "Physical fitness is unimportant to me.  I do not intend to run marathons for a living, nor lift weights, nor anything else which would require any semblance of physical strength or capability," I explained, my eyes still fixed on my book.
     "Right, right, of course.  It's all about the brain with you," he sighed, sitting on the bench across from me.  "You know, you could try having fun for once."
     "Fun.  Hmm."  I finally looked up from my book, meeting his eyes.  "To what sort of 'fun' are you referring?" I inquired, squinting slightly in the bright sun.  Shirou seemed to have no such problems.  I knew he was used to it since he spent the majority of his time outside, his tanned skin a contrast to my own light color.  He put an elbow on the picnic table, leaning his chin on one hand while tousling his sun bleached hair with the other.
     "Oh, I don't know.  Just doing something you enjoy, I guess."  I rolled my eyes, minorly exasperated.
     "That is precisely what this book is for.  Now if you'll excuse me..." I trailed off, turning my attention back to the story unfolding in front of me.  I was only able to enjoy a few more lines before it was rudely snatched out of my grasp.
     "Other than reading."
     "Return my book immediately, or I will personally send you on a one way trip to, ah, heck."  I wasn't joking.  My books were precious to me, and anyone who messed with them quickly regretted it.  Shirou blinked at me, obviously rethinking his plan.
     "Okay, okay, no need to go full demon mode-"
     "No, Shirou, this is only one-eighth demon mode.  You don't want to see me at half," I growled, reaching for my book.  He quickly set it on the table and I snatched it back.  He raised his hands in the typical gesture of surrender.
     "All right, sorry.  But at least hear me out before you start reading again," he pleaded.
     "Hear you out.  Hear you out indeed," I grumbled.  "Shirou, we have been friends for a long time.  You should at least have the common sense by now not to keep me away from my stories.  If you were anyone else, you would be writhing in pain right now.  However I have kept myself from asphyxiating you for this long, and I am not keen on breaking such a phenomenal streak of self restraint just yet.  You have five minutes.  Start talking."  He wasted seven point eight seconds just staring at me before finally realizing he was on a timer.  I sighed at his lack of efficiency.
     "Um, right, okay.  So here's what I was thinking.  You never do anything that would be remotely interesting to most other people, and I know that you love your books and you love learning and everything, but maybe it would be good for you to try something different for a change.  I'm obviously not asking you to stop reading, because I happen to value my life.  I'm just asking for one day.  Just one day doing things normal people enjoy, and you might like it."  I didn't get offended at his implying I was not a normal person, because it was true.  "If you don't enjoy it, you can go back to reading every day for the rest of your life if you want, and I'll never bring this up again.  But will you at least give it a try?" he asked.  I said nothing.  "Just one day.  Come on."  I remained silent.  He looked like he had run out of things to say to convince me.
     I waited for five seconds more to be absolutely certain he was done, and then asked him, "Do you know what floccinaucinihilipilification means?"
     "Ah... no." he admitted.  "But what does that have to do with-"
     "Floccinaucinihilipilification is a noun meaning the action or habit of estimating something as worthless.  Coincidentally, that happens to be my precise view on this matter." I interrupted.
     "But-"
     "I do admittedly have this feeling about many things, some of which-" it was his turn to interrupt me.
     "Stop!  Just stop, okay?  If you didn't want to do it, you could've just said so.  You don't have to make me feel inferior, too.  That happens enough as it is.  It's fine if you don't want to do it.  I don't mind, really.  But please just say so next time.  I don't feel like being lectured on why I'm wrong right now."  He paused, then stood up.  "I'm sorry for bothering you.  You can go back to your book now."  He started back the way he had come.
     "Shirou..." I said.  He turned around and looked like he was about to say something, then changed his mind.
     "Sorry for bothering you" he said again, and walked away.
     A lot of conflicting emotions were running through me in that moment, but strangely enough, one thought stood out above all the rest.
     I make him feel inferior?
     For the first time in a long time, I didn't know what to do.  I don't know how long I sat there like that.  By the time I left, only one thing was clear to me.
     I had to fix this.