Bruised and Battered

Chapter 3

Sitting there, forcing yourself to smile and laugh as Dean tossed joke after joke, you tried to keep your mind from wandering. It was hard getting used to the fact that you were able to laugh freely, able to move about the room without fear of being beaten.

Sitting at the edge of the bed, you had tensed up when Dean sat down next to you, handing you a beer bottle. "Y/N, are you sure everything's okay?" He asked, realizing the way you had automatically pulled away from him, wincing as you waited for his hand to land on you. It was a nervous habit that you couldn't control, even when you knew Dean wasn't going to strike you.

"I'm great. Better than I've been in a long time." You assured him, taking a long drink of beer.

"If there was something bothering you, you would tell us, right?" Dean asked softly, making sure his words wouldn't carry to where Sam and Cas were busy talking at the table. "I know you're parents weren't always the best when we were together, and..."

"Dean, I would let you know." You lied to him. But you couldn't stand the chance that you would see nothing but pity on his face once he found out how you've been treated. And the fact that you could've left, but were too scared to. "I promise."

His sage colored eyes searched your own, reading you much more than you were comfortable with. After a moment, he reached over, grasping your hand. "Just remember I'm here if you want to talk. I'm sorry I didn't' work harder to keep in touch. You're just as much family as Sam, and you deserved more than that."

Close to tears, you leaned into his shoulder, forcing yourself to stay calm as his arm wrapped around your shoulders. Pulling you close, the two of you stayed that way, listening to Sam and Cas argue about the upcoming rescue mission.

"Sam, we've already talked about this. I can at least head over there, see what's going on so we have an idea of what we're dealing with." Cas was saying.

Sam shook his head. "It's too dangerous. We're not sure what we're even dealing with here. They've already taken down two veteran hunters, we can't afford to lose you too."

"I agree with Sam." You spoke up, surprising everyone, including yourself. "I think we should all go, together."

"Y/N and Sam are right." Dean agreed. "We need to work together on this. We can't afford to lose you man."

Still not happy, but overpowered, Cas crossed his arms, staying silent. That was when Sam noticed how close you were sitting with Dean, raising an eyebrow at the two of you. Blushing, you sat up, away from Dean, who glanced at you questioningly. "I think it's time for me to call it a night." You announced suddenly, standing up.

While you had had fun being with your old friends, it was almost too much to handle all at once. Feeling a little overwhelmed, you grabbed your room key, heading straight for the door. "Y/N, wait!" Dean exclaimed, but you already had the door opened. Stepping out into the cool night air, you took a deep gulping breath, trying to relax. With shaky hands, you tried to slide your card into the slot, tears escaping your eyes as you grew more and more frustrated.

"Whoa, Y/N, calm down. Whatever it is, we can work it out." Dean's voice came from behind you, just as his arm reached out, grasping yours. Freezing, you dropped the keycard, and your head, waiting for the inivitible to happen. You were so far out of your comfort zone that you couldn't remember that this was Dean, your Dean. And he would never lay a hand on you. That thought was lost in your frantic mind as you could only think of what a hand usually did when it was laid upon your skin.

As if your skin was fire, Dean let go, holding his hands up in a sign of surrender. "Y/N, please. You're scaring the crap out of me. And you know how hard it is for me to admit that."

"Dean, I'm sorry. I can't." You sobbed, moving to lean down and get your key, but Dean beat you to it. Holding it between his fingers, he held it out to you.

"Please Y/N. I just want to help you." He pleaded, staring up into your tear soaked eyes.

"Nobody can help me." You whispered, reaching to take the key from his hand. With a shake of his head, he reached down, unlocking the door for you.

"Here. And I'm just next door if you decide to change your mind." He told you as you raced into the room. Reaching for the door, you saw him still standing there, as you shut it in his face.

Emotionally exhausted, you collapsed onto your bed, the tears falling once again. Tears for the life you could have had. You had always held a flame for Dean, but a long time ago your parents had found out, forcing you away from him. It had never truly been a misunderstanding between them and John. It had been because they found out you were going to tell Dean how you felt. They had become extremely angry, and to this day you still weren't sure why. But from that day forward, your life had changed. That was the first day they had raised a hand to you, when you had finally decided to stand up for yourself. You hadn't wanted to leave Sam and Dean behind, especially Dean. Fighting them, you had pleaded to stay. And because of that you had ended up with two broken ribs, a black eye, and handcuffed in the back of their car. Never saying bye to the two men who meant so much to you.

Time had passed, and while you had still loved Dean from afar, the two of you had slowly grown apart. It had been hard, harder for you than for Dean. Your memories of your time spent with Dean were what kept you going through the dark times with your parents. As they lashed out, taking out their drunken aggression on you, you would close your eyes, remembering a happier moment with Dean. Like the time he had borrowed his Dad's Impala, the two of you sneaking out of Bobby's house in the middle of the night for a cruise. That had been one of your favorite memories, and without it you might have turned insane by now.

Slowly, your tears subsided, and you just lay there, cuddling your pillow. You could still hear the sounds of the three men moving around the room, their voices nothing more but hushed whispers. Knowing they were right there, just a yell away if you needed anything was a comfort. Sure, you might have become overwhelmed, rushing out of there, but that didn't mean you didn't like having them ten feet away.

Not knowing what tomorrow meant, you hoped it wouldn't mean the end of your relationship with Dean. Hoping that somehow you could get past this shell of your former self to get close to him once again. Hoping that your parents wouldn't force you to choose, or make the choice for you once again.