It's no surprise when a smart kid slacks off, there's one in every class who doesn't work to their full potential. It's a truly sad thing because success is not guaranteed by an IQ number, or how many thousands you are in your bank account, or how many friends you have. No, the key to success, is grit. It's will, it's the strength to keep going. Some may say I'm an intelligent kid, that I'm smart and creative. I am in advanced classes after all, but I still get average grades. Mostly low A's, some high B's, maybe a C and a failed test here and there. It's one of the many reasons I've loathed myself for the past 4 or 5 years. I want to be galvanized into doing something incredible! I want to temper my own steel and become the sharpest blade I can be! I want to do something important. All this time, I've wondered, "Why am I not improving?" "Why am I not doing better?" Now I realize that the problem is that I don't have the will. All those nights spent staring at blank ceilings, ruminating on how futile everything seems while insomnia held my eyelids open with grotesque claws have not allowed room foe me to improve and work to my fullest potential. I won't pretend that it's anyone else's fault but my own, but if I want to get better I have to start the change now. No, I am far from gritty enough to be successful, I will admit that. I am weak, with my schoolwork, with my relationships, with taking care of myself. I simply do not fulfill my potential. This pedestrian lifestyle just won't do. I've always sought solace in blissful numbness and blithe facades, but if I'm going to achieve my goals I need to change this. I will find the incendiary match to light the flames of my passion and success. I will find the will and the grit to work hard to achieve my goals, to go above and beyond. I will get better grades, I will graduate, I will go to a good college, I will become a better person, I will survive to see my 18th birthday, and not only will I survive, I will live. Because if there is one thing I've learned this year is that the only way to get through life, through the ups and downs, through the days you can't breathe and the days you don't want to, is through will power. And I really want these next few years to be different.
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This was an essay I wrote for my English final exam, it wasn't a formal thing, just to answer some questions. Anyway, the day I wrote it was one if my better days, and on one of my worse days like today, I thought I'd try to cheer myself up by reading and posting it, because I'm kind of proud of it.
