Töte Mich

*Disclaimer*

Okay, so before you all read this I want you all to know that this story is extremely graphic and very dark. It deals with very, very upsetting topics such as suicide, suicidal thoughts and actions and rape.

I'm not quite sure as to why I decided to write such a dark story but I feel as if this gave me an outlet to help relieve many triggers I have and events that I have lived through in my life.

Although, this is not an accurate description or deception of the exact events that have happened to me; it's inspired largely by many traumatic events I have encountered.

I apologize to anyone that the plot of this story may upset and I suggest highly that you do not read this. I just believe that there's this stigma around rape and many people have this mentality to believe it's something that it's not.

For example, I have seen many Rammstein fics where members of the bands have been raped and in one particular story, the author had written a story about one member raping another one and depicted that the rapist had committed the act out of 'love'. And personally that made me very upset and sick to read; as to most that have experienced and survived an ordeal such as that know, that could never have taken place. So I feel in a way that was another reason I needed to write this.

I am no way romanticizing or glorifying rape, suicide, depression or anxiety by writing this story.

I'm aware that rape is disgusting, cruel and extremely heinous to all those effected by it. I know how I was effected by it.

Rape is something that you either understand because it's happened to you. Or you simply don't, there's no in between.

So here's my only way I could maybe make people understand what it's like, this story ushers the effect it truly plagues upon someone's mind.

If this story content does not effect you as much, I warn you to err on the side of caution because again, this story is very graphic and can be upsetting.

You have been warned.