Töte Mich

#2

**FAIR WARNING:** Basically every chapter after this one will have some type of trigger warning as this chapter contains graphic depictions of a fictional rape. Again I apologize for making such an upsetting story but I hope you all can understand why I feel as though I need to write about this.

8 o'clock had finally arrived.

I walked over to West Hall and I was giddy with excitement. I walked up the four flights of stairs and I stood slightly anxious in front of the door with the number "416" engraved on it and I shook as I checked my pockets for the $30 it contained.

I tentatively knocked on the door and it opened to find my small group of friends sitting on all the scattered furniture around the 3 person dorm. I handed Richard the 30 dollars out of my pocket and he smiled. "What happened to this party? I was expecting a real extravaganza" I said sarcastically. Till looked irritated by my presence before speaking blankly "the dude who was supposed to throw it got caught, so this what it has become.. Or you can just leave".

I swallowed hard and Paul shot him a death glare while Richard scolded him for being so rude. Paul pulled out a joint from his pocket and lit it up. Oli opened the window and then asked for the joint next.

After taking a hit Paul handed it to Oli. As Oli was inhaling quite the drag, Paul exhaled and a few coughs erupted from his small frame. The pattern continued like that (skipping Flake as he wasn't one for drugs, just alcohol) until the joint had finally made it across the room and finally Till was passing it to me. "Have you ever smoked weed before?" he questioned holding the joint just out of reach.

I was irritated by him. The feelings of our hatred for each other was the only thing we had in common. "Of course I have dumbshit." I spoke loudly and he furrowed his eyebrows and grumbled something under his breath before handing me the joint.

All eyes were on me except for Paul, he was laying on the couch messily typing and he waited for his high to start. I took a drag off the joint and it was much stronger than what I was used to, so it burned my lungs and my mouth was full of a shit taste. I held it in as long as I could before exhaling. Tears pricked my eyes and a few hard coughs wrecked my body.

I passed the joint back to Paul and he took it gratefully. Paul complained about how he wasn't 'getting high off his own damn weed' and in response Oli pulled a bong out of his school bag.

He walked over to their little adjoining
bathroom and filled the bong up with some water. I could feel my high happening slightly. I could feel my heart beating quicker and I felt my arms become a little lighter. I hadn't quite smoked enough for it to engulf my brain in its mind numbing senses.

Before I knew it, Oli was shoving the bong towards me saying "first green goes to you Christoph" I smiled grateful but I questioned him with a simple "Why? You packed it, you get first green".

He smiled warmly before stating "its our first time smoking with you, it's kinda like initiation.." I stared at it wearily and everyone was beaming at me, of course except for Till. "Go ahead babe" Richard said sweetly and I melted at the nickname.

I lit up a small corner of the bowl and my blood ran hot as Oli whistled excitedly and Richard laughed like an idiot at me. I blushed deeply before shyly handing the bong back to Oli and exhaling, thankfully, this time without any coughing.

Eventually the bong made its way around a few times and everyone was feeling pretty good; we played some shit music and pondered the secrets of the universe. Until, Flake asked if we could go to the store to get beer. Richard was sadly, the only one with a car so he automatically said he was going; and Flake being the only sober one was elected to drive.