DRUNK [J.M.]

ONE

JASPER KING
__________________

I sipped at my coffee gingerly, relishing the feeling of the hot drink sliding down my sore throat. I wasn't a coffee fan but today was different. I needed it to keep me awake because as far as I knew my brother's face shouldn't be fading away. I leaned my forehead against the palm of hand and ran my hands through my hair. A headache was now settling in and all I wanted to do at that moment was rest my aching head against a pillow and sleep for a week.

"Are you gonna finish that?" Eli asked. I slid the coffee cup across the table without looking up. "You haven't slept have you?"

"I couldn't fall asleep," this time my gaze fell on his face, my tired eyes looking into his lively ones.

"Your pills Jas-"

"He took them," I whispered. "He took them all."

He sighed, rubbing the side of his stubble covered jaw. "Even your-" He coughed grabbing onto the coffee cup tightly "you know," he asked looking hopeful. I knew what he was talking about but I broke that hope when I said a simple "yes."

"Maybe you don't need them. I mean you're eventually going to stop taking them so why not stop earlier."

I shook my head looking down at the table. "You don't understand, I just- I can't, I can't do it." I was wringing my hands together now, my hands sweating like an open faucet and my heart racing. My throbbing head was long forgotten as I tried to keep my uneven breathing down. I didn't want to worry him, he doesn't deserve it. After everything he's done to help me, he shouldn't have to come running to me whenever I needed him even though I wanted him to.

"Jay look at me," but as soon as I did I regretted it. My eyes focused on the people around us that suddenly became so close to me, the room getting so much hotter as their voices got louder and louder. I tried to hard to keep my eyes on Eli's face but my eyes darted between him and everyone else. I panicked and shot off my chair, the loud screech making everyone's eyes turn to me and I prayed to god that they were looking at someone behind me. My face burned red and I suddenly felt sick and dizzy.

They were looking at me. Only me.

Before I could run away, someone's hand wrapped around my arm firmly, pulling me away from the stares. My heart felt relieved at the comforting face in front of me and I couldn't help but push myself against him and rest my head on his shoulder as I struggled to keep the tears trapped in my eyes. Eli wrapped his arm around me, running his free hand through my hair. I couldn't help but close my eyes and push myself deeper into my brother's chest; my hero.

•••

I was home alone now, I have been for hours and I couldn't be more relieved. I fell asleep as soon as I saw my bed and now my head was okay. No more headaches and no more panic attacks.

The house was quiet except for the sound of the tv across from me but even then it wasn't so loud. I wanted to hear when he comes in. He scared me more than anything and not even Eli could save me from his anger. He was always angry or ticked off around me and I convinced myself that it was just me.

The door slammed shut and I instantly jumped off my bed, shutting off the tv and closing my bedroom door. I felt my heart beat harshly against my chest as I backed away from the door slowly. I sat down at the foot of my bed as his footsteps got louder and louder walking up the stairs. The shadow of his large feet stopped at my door and for a moment I thought I was done for the night. I let out a loud sigh when he continued across the hallway and up the second set of stairs.

My phone rang loudly and I hurried to answer the call. "Get ready. I'm picking you up in 10."

Word count: 714