under

foreseen

dead
morto
død
mortuus est
dead
there is no other way to see it. no more optimism or hope left to say it can be brought back to life. i can't remember a time i walked the streets of green i have only seen them in books and old newspaper left to watch the rest of the world be destroyed while slowly decaying themselves. when i walk the war torn paths scattered in dark red blotches of a creature i no longer fear as i have begun to re consider if being here on the earth is really the most beneficial circumstance for me. maybe it was. maybe i was born into this death ridden life for a particular reason. maybe.  i am consumed throughly by an continued sadness and grief and anger that i cannot over come. no one is there to guide me. i did once see the sun through the clouds. it was disguised as an apple ipod containing a song that used to be played all throughout my lonely days 'It's the end of the world as we know it' this song written by an artist that no longer exists is the epitome of cliche and is heard on repeat throughout the city of wherever i am as a reminder of how even so many years ago they knew it was coming. the end of the world was going to dawn upon us at some point and this song had predicted it. i listen to it so i am reminded that there are people other than me out there i am not the only one left. i did meet someone once, maybe around a year ago. i am not too sure though it is hard to keep track of time while your so secluded. his name was alex. he was a beautiful boy. it seemed like fate that we had both found each other somehow. his eyes were like the colour blue that you wished you could just swim in and his black hair fell onto his head so perfectly. his perfect smile always seemed so genuine. the only person who ever made me feel truely safe. but just like the rest of the world he was destroyed. torn from my grasp of desperation and longing and maybe even love. but that's how it's been all my life. first my mother. dad always said she was weak put love in front of her own survival. he didn't love us then. mother said that before the earth started to turn on its own they did love each other. they were married and always happy. i always believed that is was because of me they didn't love one another any more like i had done something to tear them apart. they would always whisper to each other about plans about the best thing for me i could never listen. sometimes they wanted to just give up and throw me to the earth to deal with. that's maybe why they taught me to be so tough to survive on my own. so they could finally let them selves go. alex did the same. he fought to protect not to stay alive. that was never his plan. it was never my parents plan either..