sweet ambivalence

01 | s c a r c i t y

Seamus inhaled the chemicals of his seventh cigarette, dismissing the fact that the sun had not too long ago posed high in the sky.

With frowned lips, they trembled at the hint of gusting wind. His cobalt blue filled eyes blurred out the city, it functioning like a rapid machine. Feeling discomfort leaning back against the brick wall of the apartment building, he again ignored a fact; the calming neurological effects of nicotine taking over him.

Seamus and the band had lost their main vocalist, and was now looking for a replacement. But so far, their luck had escaped them. He desperately needed a break from the auditions, but this was the closest he would get to one.

He could still hear the faint sounds of jazz being played, and some woman trying to find the right pitch. But she was terrible, and Seamus thought in wonder why she had ignored all the damn signs in life that was trying to tell her to give up singing.

He then pondered on the thought of getting an office job. As quickly as the thought came, it went. This would be his second time considering it; The first time he received a slap to the face by his best friend Gunner, screaming at Seamus not to give up.

A slap to the face was Gunner way of giving a effective and inspiring motivational speech.

And quite frankly it worked for Seamus. He finally came to his senses and realize jazz was his lover, wife, and mistress. He could not trade all that up for quick money from a nine to five.

With someone struggling with the front building door knob; Seamus took one last puff of the cigarette before releasing it to the ground and killing it with a stomp.

The person finally got the door open, releasing now loud jazzy music along with the woman's assessment who had almost made Seamus quit by just her voice; an irritated Gunner was also revealed. He only poked half of his body out of the frame.

"Slate needs to fix this bloody fucking door!" He shouted with his jet black hair spreading out in all direction. His beady brown orbs and pouty mouth defining him immensely.

Seamus stood up right, pretending to fixate on his black overalls. Deep down he was only hoping that Gunner did not notice the cigarette stench.

"What are you doing out round here mate? You can't possibly be buggered, you haven't even done shit! And fuck in' 'ell you've been smoking again ya' cunt." He scolded, staring at the side of his friend's face in disbelief.

"I've only had one smoke. I'll be fine." He knotted up his furry brows out of annoyance.

"Fine my ass! Well get back to work. Everyone's cursing your bloody name!"

"I'll be right up."

"Well hurry the fuck on with it mate." With a slam to the already broken door, Gunner disappeared back inside.

Seamus shook his head, converting a firm breath into a ghostly white cloud that eventually hid in the midst of air. Knowing that he was suppose to be quitting, he looked around at his surrounding before pulling out another cigarette from his denim overall's hidden pocket. He placed it to his lips, already calming down, knowing what taste was to come from it.

As he was beginning to light it a figure appeared in front of him, causing him to panic, and take the cigarette out of his mouth.

"Hi." it was a soothing lullaby voice, her childish smile gave off warmth in the cold. With eyes so brown they were hypnotic; hypnotizing you into comfort.