Sang's Matches

1. PAPERWORK

"Oh wow," I mumble under my breath, gaining looks from the others in the room. Who knew these tests were so hard? I mean...I guess it's kind of a good thing, considering. But I guess I never thought about just how detailed and descriptive this was going to be. Modern genetic testing can only take us so far, it seems. I sigh inwardly.

    I've read books from way back when, before genetic testing determined life partners, where guys and girls just kind of paired off because they felt like it, and if it was a mistake then they'd just move on to another partner. After arriving at my designated testing center today and seeing the pile of paperwork set out for me, I'm beginning to wish it was still that way.

   The story of how we got to where I am today is actually kind of silly. Once technology was available to decode DNA, scientist spent decades trying to formulate cures for genetic mutations in our chromosomes, such as Parkinson's disease, Downs Syndrome, Diabetes, Cancer, and Alzheimer's. At the same time, pharmaceutical companies were spending billions of dollars using the technology to prevent things like male pattern balding, ears that stick out, big noses and fuller breasts and lips.

    Some of it had worked, but most failed or just caused other problems, starting an ongoing pattern for those poor souls. But alas, one doctor came along and changed everything. He started advocating for preventative genetic testing, instead of trying to fix issues that were already present. The result was using DNA to determine offspring. His idea was to breed out hereditary diseases and genetic mutations. There were plenty of problems his ideas created after that, but eventually a worldwide system was put into place and now everyone gets their DNA coded at birth, cross-matched within the database, and registers for social integration events when they turn eighteen.

 Like I'm doing today.

    DNA testing can tell me who I could reproduce with, but the testing done today is more about my preferences and what I'd like to see in my life partners, personality wise. Due to unforeseeable consequences, the ratio of males being born over females is a hundred to one, so young women like myself are encouraged to be open to accepting more than one life partner. Most women do these days, but I'm unsure of doing so myself. I mean, my older sister Marie went through this a couple of years ago and ended up with three husbands, but according to our mother, she's miserable. Then again, Marie was never a bright and cheery type of person to begin with. My own mother has four husbands, but she only ever loved one, making the other three live in a separate house on the same property. They're all unhappy. Really, really unhappy.

"Sang!" My mother shouts at me through the glass panel separating the testing room and the waiting area. "Stop your daydreaming and get on with it!" She huffs, banging on the glass in frustration. My cheeks heat as all eyes shift in my direction and I slide down in my seat, refocusing on the stack of papers in front of me.

Question 12: Are you open to the possibility of more than one life partner?

I sigh and check yes. I can at least keep an open mind about it, right?

Question 13: Check the boxes below if you are interested in that age group.

I check boxes 18-20, 21-25, and hesitate on going any higher than that. Oh, what the heck, I check box 26-30 as well. Do I really want to be paired up with a 30-year-old? I erase that box and move on before I change my mind again. These tests were so not designed for the indecisive. I quickly move through the next few questions, turning to the next page.

Question 21: Check all boxes for body types you are NOT interested in.

Body types? I skim my eyes down the list. Athletic, medium build, slender, muscular, heavyset. I leave the section blank as I'm confused as to what any of that means. I mean, can't someone be athletic and slender at the same time? And also heavyset and still active? Medium as compared to what exactly?

Question 22: Check the boxes of traits you would LEAST like to see in a life partner.

This list is much longer and there are only two things that stand out to me as big no-no's and that's smoking and couch-potato. I hate the smell of smoke and if someone actually describes themselves as couch-potato then I'm not sure how much we'd have in common.

The next question has me snorting out loud, but I quickly check the "any income level" box and move on. Questions on height preference, skill sets, fields of work, and lists of common traits that I'd like to see in my matches, like authoritative, confident, caring, bookish, and things of that nature follow and I find myself not being able to choose any one of those things in particular. Instead, I leave most of them pretty wide open. I don't know how to judge people based on these things alone.

The next portion of the quiz is more about me describing myself so the guys filling these out on the other end will know if I'm a good match for them as well. At least this part isn't too hard. I love the outdoors, swimming, yoga, bikes, running, books, learning new things, exploring, charity work, watching and playing sports, fishing, and the list goes on and on, with me occasionally checking boxes along the way. I almost feel like a fraud, though. Other than going on walks around the woods around my house, I've never done any of these things. The question clearly states to check the boxes I have interests in, and I'm interested in mostly everything.

I skip over the 'past sexual experience" section with a heated face and move onto my basic information such as height, weight, IQ test scores, eye color, hair color and geographical information.

The last piece of paperwork to complete is a booklet with different scenarios with multiple choice questions that I have to answer. I guess it's a better way to tell if my answers on the other stuff were accurate and to gauge my mental stability.

With all my papers in order, I make my way to the test official and watch as she scans everything into her computer. She asks me to wait for my name to be called in the waiting area as they need a few minutes to enter me into the database.

"Took you long enough." My mother sneers at me as I take a seat next to her. "I don't know why I even bothered to bring you, it's not like anyone out there is going to be dumb enough to want you. Lord knows I never did." She adds, making my heart hurt even though I should be used to hearing things like that by now.

"Miss Sorenson?" A kind older gentleman questions as he scans the lobby. I raise my hand shyly, getting up to follow after him as he waves me back through the door. "It seems we have a problem with your medical record." He tells me, leading me down a different hallway than I was in before.

"What do you mean?" I ask, pushing my lip to my teeth with an index finger.

The man smiles back at me over his shoulder. "Oh, don't worry, it's nothing we can't fix. It just appears that it's been a while since you've been to see your general physician. We'll take some x-rays and do a minor physical. Nothing should set you back with scheduling your society integration events today."

I was supposed to get a physical? When? I don't even remember the last time I saw a doctor, or that I even had one for that matter.

 After being poked, prodded and scanned, I finally make it back to the waiting area with a few pieces of delicious candies that Dr. Roberts was nice enough to offer me. He really was a nice guy.