Behind The Mask

Chapter 5: Pie

(A/N: sorry for the depressing beginning it gets better)

There are a few reasons I don't kill myself.

Now I am not self focused like most depressed people. I know that if I killed myself it would hurt others, there would be consequences for the people around me.

My mom would cry so much that she would be throwing up in the bathroom. She would wonder what she did wrong. What did she do that made me the way I am, She would wonder.

My dad would cry to. He would be heart broken, but instead of showing it he would act like an  a-hole. He didn't get to spend time and with me much and would regret it too. He would wonder how he raised such a weak child.

My younger siblings look up to me even if neither them or me are aware of it. I would set the example that killing yourself, suicide, is ok. When it's not.

My brother would fall into bad grades. He would miss the person that was always there since day one. The person he could always talk to. He would close himself off like I did. Disappear slowly. 

My sister wouldn't understand at first, shes young. She would wonder why her big sister disappeared and where she went. As she got older she would start to understand. She would wonder what superior being took me away from her. The girl that did her hair, played dolls with her, taught her to love reading. She would need her sister one day and I wouldn't be there.

My "friends" would wonder what happen to the girl that helped with all there problems. The girl they talked to about drama because she didn't like to get involved in it. Some might even learn to be a little kinder after. But most would forget me in a few months.

Everyone would wonder what happened to the girl who always smiled, the girl that was always there. What happened to Olivia Hope.

But the one thing that keeps me going strong is I don't want anyone to feel as empty and broken as me. I don't want my insignificant death to do that. I want to leave good behind. Even if I can feel anything but numbness myself.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

" You think your all that WELL YOUR REALLY JUST A *****," A barbie got up in her face.

"I can't believe someone would even look in your direction," The skinny side kick spit out.

"Unless they were thinking about how fugly and homeless looking she is," The barbie smirked at the mean comment. 

It was nice for a change that these insults weren't directed towards me, but they still weren't ok. I was walking into school when I stumbled, literally, into these living barbies tearing this girl to shreds. (Who knew barbie and her barbie friends are evil) And from what I heard they were yelling at her because she had a lipstick color close to the head barbies shade of lipstick or something stupid like that. Who even cares?

" You think you have a right to act and be-" I'm going to blow. Its one thing to be yelled at but when others get yelled at I just lose my patience for all the bulling and wrong in the world. Every one has the right to be and do what they want.

" What in the world did she freaking do to you witches!" I blew up. 

¨ Why the hell do you think you can talk to me like that," The blond one turns to look at me. 

"Cause I am a human being. " I state simply. I shake my head. Why can't people understand the effect words can have on others. They can tear you apart or build you up, but sadly its more tearing than building. Words can change the world. Word can make you a hot potato or make you a decayed potato. If one country got mad and said mean stuff about another country, well looky here you have a war on your hands. Why? Words.