Nothing Else Matters

Chapter 6

After hearing Lars' sick story, I went to play my bass again, before calling it a day and going to bed early, but I bumped into James on my way. Of course... Why not make it worse while we're on it, huh? I was planning on just ignoring him altogether, but he had to start a conversation. Someone up there hates me, I just know it. "Hey", he said. "Hey", I replied, as simply as that, trying to walk away. But he grabbed my arm and dragged me back. "I wanna talk to you", he explained. "Well, here I am", I sighed, not in any way wanting to be anywhere else than in my cozy room, all by myself. He looked shameful, as if he had just done something terribly wrong, and regretting it. Oh shit, he was going to tell me that Lars' story was true. "It's about last night", he told me, looking down at the floor, avoiding eye contact. Oh... Why would he want to talk about that anyway? "Yeah?", I said, making it sound like a question, "Go on..." He sighed. "I just don't hope I made it awkward between us", he said. Yes, you did. "No, you didn't", I lied. "Are you sure?", he asked, looking back up at me. I nodded. "Oh, good", he said, "Because, uhm... It kinda... uh... wasn't that bad. In fact... I kind of wanted to ask you if you... wanted to... maybe... hang out later?" Jesus, you couldn't have said that any slower? "Sure", I said, thinking that maybe he wasn't such a bad guy after all. But I still had to watch out though. "Really?", he asked, sounding way too over-enthusiastic. "Yeah", I said, hoping that the conversation was over. "So, when?", he asked, and I sighed. I looked at the watch on the wall behind him. ‪5 P.M.‬ "Seven?", I asked. "Alright", he said happily, "See you then". He turned and walked into the livingroom. See you then... We live in the same house goddamnit...

Two hours passed, and I was now forced to "hang out" with James... OK, I admit being somewhat pessimistic about uh... everything lately, but really it was just me responding to this whole bullshit attitude the band had. Not Lars and Kirk though, but James was so confusing, I had no idea what to expect from him. I walked into the livingroom, finding James playing his guitar. "Ready?", I asked him, realizing just seconds later that it sounded like a date when I said it that way. "Yeah", he said, getting up from the couch. We walked outside, and I asked him what he wanted to do, since it was his idea to begin with. "Uh... I don't know", he said, "What do you wanna do?" Oh my god, he was one of those. "I dunno", I replied, "We could just talk, you know". He looked at me. "What do you wanna talk about?" Yeah, OK, this obviously wasn't going to work out, so I decided to get to the bottom of things. "You've changed a lot lately", I said, "Any specific reasons why?" I could see him turning all red. Time for confessions, James. "Uh...", he stuttered, "I... I kinda like you", he said, quickly taking a look at me to see how I reacted, then turning away again. "Oh", I said, realizing that I might not have sounded too surprised. "'Oh'?", he repeated, turning back to me yet another time, "That's your reaction? Why aren't you more surprised?" I shrugged. "Uh...", I said, "I talked to Lars and Kirk about everything that has happened the last few days, and they told me that it was a pretty fat chance you had a crush on me, which turned out to be true". He stopped walking, and just looked at me with wide open eyes. "Seriously? How'd they figure?", he asked me, kind of shocked. I shrugged. "I dunno", I said, "But you know, it doesn't really matter, it'll go over". He kept staring at me, his face all red, and now turning kind of mad. "No, it won't!", he said, louder than he had to, "It's not just a 'crush', stupid, I'm fucking in love with you goddamnit!" Oh, shit.