Dissolution

Chapter 4 - There Is Nothing Wrong

I ended up at the river.

I dangled my legs over the edge of the cliff and watched bits of rock plummet down, bounce off the road below, and then take a final dive into the water. Behind me, the Central Business District sat in an egg-shaped bowl, the river licking one side and then rushing down to meet the Wall. The natural ledge I sat on hung just over the ever-congested Unilox highway, and the descent down to the bridge was steep. I could see why people used to jump from here. But it wasn't the height that would kill you, it was the river itself. The jewel of Unilox. The only river in the world where you could see the bottom, it was so clear. And the only river where the chemicals they poured in to keep it beautiful would eat you alive.

I watched the river flow and thought of all the people it had claimed. I wondered how many of them had come here after failed Auctionings or a mindless day at work. Most of the jumpers had stopped once Unilox started making families pay the Corporations back for breach of contract. Not that that had stopped ANRON from brokering a deal with DRAYTH to have the bodies they managed to fish out shipped to them for testing. What was left of them, anyway.

I closed my eyes. I remembered when they'd made that deal. "Good," my mother had said. She'd been watching an Ad on the main screen when the news had come through. The colors had flickered over her skin and gotten lost in the bags underneath her eyes. "At least they can help ANRON with their next breakthrough."

I shivered. The memory was strong enough that it was like having her on the ledge with me, whispering in my ear like she had so many times over the years. "There is nothing wrong with ANRON." I wished I could shut off the part of my brain where she lived. I couldn't take my mother right now. Or anyone else, really.

My UConn pinged. Again.

I blinked and the message came up in text. Carly. I let my eyes glaze over the words: the apologies for things that weren't her fault, the reassurances that it must have been a glitch in the system, the fact that I could still go for private sale. More messages blinked in the corner. Three from Eleika. Five from Aliss. None from my parents or Jake.

I thought about calling Jake and then realized I didn't want to hear his voice. Not after I'd stuck it on repeat inside my head, only to find out it was a lie. Maybe later. I'd have plenty of time. This morning, I'd checked the agency who managed our dates and booked him for the whole of tomorrow. Something clenched in me at the memory. That was when I'd thought I'd have something to celebrate.

Now, I stared at the flashing messages and then fumbled in my bag. My fingers closed around my slightly battered MERCE EverCube. I'd gotten it years ago, when I'd first started modding, but it still interacted with MERCE's latest tech so I hadn't bothered replacing it. I flipped it, brought up the right code, and pressed down. There was a sudden, blessed silence as I cut off the alerts from my messages. I could hear myself think again.

I'm sorry. You're not on the list.

How was that even possible? I'd filled in the application. Done my tests. Everyone had to go through the Auctioning unless they'd been sold in a permanent private sale, and my mother would have sooner cut off her right arm than given her consent to that. So how could I not be on the list? I remembered the shock on the Auctioneer's face and then the careful way she'd smoothed it into neutrality. Had she been lying?

I thought about it for a moment, and then dismissed it. No. If I'd been on the list she would have had to call me. But it was still beyond bizarre. And then there were all the other weird little things. The second injection. Dr. Yulisa keeping me running, long past when everyone else had gone. And hadn't she wanted me to go get my evening dose first, before going to the Auctioning? She had. What had that been about? What if . . . ?

No. I pressed the heels of my palms against my temples and stood up. The movement made me sway above the highway and made me acutely aware of the drop. Maybe the fumes from the river had gotten to me. I was being paranoid, searching for conspiracies that weren't there. Anything to stop myself from accepting that this was it. I hadn't made a century today. I hadn't even been put up for sale.

But what did that even mean? That I was stuck with ANRON? I closed my eyes and pictured slaving away over treadmills and scans and data for the next sixty years. Coming home hollow-eyed like my mother or mindlessly exhausted like my father. Just the thought made me feel physically sick. No. Nothing had changed. I wasn't going to become my parents. I wasn't going to get stuck. There had to be something else. A private sale, now that I was old enough. Anything.

But first I had to go home and tell my parents I hadn't been Auctioned.

It was easier imagining myself striding into MERCE with a jaunty price tag flapping above my forehead. I laughed at myself, because if I didn't I would cry. Then I climbed off the ledge and walked back to where I'd dumped my skimboard on the side of the road. One swipe of my UConn and it surged up like a puppy. I smiled. It had been one of the first big things I'd tinkered with. I'd broken it three times before I'd figured out how to remove the speed limiter, but it had been worth it.

I stepped on now and felt the world tip beneath me before everything balanced. I gripped the handlebars and leaned forward, taking each corner of the switchback highway too fast. The air was thick with the angry buzz of stationary hovercars, the traffic stretching back to the center of the city. I sped past them and over the river and then switched to automatic. My skimboard took over eagerly, nosing out the programmed route home. I looked back for a moment at the heart of the city I'd left behind. As always, my eyes were drawn to ANRON Tower. It cast a long, long shadow across Unilox, shaped like a hypodermic needle and used like one. Life. Health. I don't know if I'd ever believed in ANRON's promises, not when my mother had her yellowed cough and my father had his shaking hands from their years as Experimentals. I shivered and turned away, zooming home. But I could have sworn I still felt its shadow on me, reaching across the river, long after I'd left.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading, I hope you're enjoying it so far! This is my first time posting on Wattpad, so thanks a million to those who have been voting and adding to reading lists and commenting - it's been great to discover your works as well!