Not His Juliet

Chapter 12

Not His Juliet by K. Jessica Ramirez

Chapter 12:

Kisses with James were never passionate. His kisses never made my knees weaken or my heart beat unbelievably fast. Our kisses were usually to further enforce the idea of our 'perfect relationship'. Our kisses were awkward, quick, and stiff, but kisses with Austin are the type of passionate kisses you only ever hear about in book and movies. His kiss makes my entire world spin around me and everyone besides him blur into the background. Our kiss doesn't need to prove anything because it's everything. Our kiss is hot and hungry but soft and loving at the same time.

Austin is the one to break our kiss. Our breaths are hard and I can only stare at Austin. Nothing but the tingling sensation of his lips on mine is the only thought that rans through my mind when we kissed but now that moment is gone and reality has peered its ugly head once again.

I just kissed him. We just kissed. Austin's recently divorced with a kid and I'm fucking engaged and we kissed. We mother fucking kissed. 

My eyes go wide with the realization. I just cheated on James, my husband to be. His family already hates me, if they find out I cheated on him James will end things with me. My mother will disown me, my name will be bashed on all the magazine covers back home, I'll lose all the respect I've spent years building. But I'll have a chance with Austin...I won't have to live in perfection-ville anymore.

I could spend the rest of my life with him. I could be happy. My heart swells at the opportunity. I throw myself at Austin again. I smash my lips to his and he happily replies. Our lips crash together in heated but caring passion. Austin wraps his arms around my waist holding us close. I follow his lead pulling my arms around his neck. I feel him slowly maneuver us off the dance floor.

As we reach our table I break our kiss gasping for air. Austin alone takes my breath away so his kisses steal all oxygen from my body. I carefully take my seat at our table and Austin his.  I glance at the half empty bottle and think about serving myself another shot but decided against it.

I came to this pub angry with James pissed off at my situation and now I couldn't be happier that I decided to come with Austin here. I'm not saying Austin and I are forever or that even James and I are done but that kiss makes the fantasy just a little more realistic. It makes the dream of a happy ever after just a tiny bit more reachable and if there's even a slight string of hope I'm holding onto it until my hands are numb.

I want to be happy and I think I'm done pretend I already am. I want real happiness with Austin not success, money, and perfection like I have with James. I don't know if I can pull it off or if that’s even an option for someone like me but I love the faith that maybe there is.

"That was..." I comment at a loss for words which I promise you does not happen often.

"Sudden, rushed, wrong I know I’m so sorry Angela. I just- I couldn't hold it back anymore. Here you are looking so beautifully gorgeous but so damn broken and hurt because of everyone you care about and it makes me want you even more. I want to make you smile like you mean it and laugh like you couldn't careless. I want to take away your hurt. I want to be someone in your life but I shouldn't have done it like that. I'm so-" Austin rants looking broken himself.

"Austin shut up a minute okay?" I cut in stopping him mid apology.

Austin nods staring down at an empty shot glass. I tilt his chin up to meet my eye level like he did to be earlier this night. How could this beautiful man not think I want him?

"I was going to say amazing. Austin that kiss was amazing. Do you seriously think I would have let you kiss me or even kissed you myself a second time if I didn't want to?" I ask him looking him in the eye.