breathe; tree bros

eight

you're probably not supposed to spend 4 hours playing modern warfare without a break.

it was 8pm by the time they'd finished- evan wasn't freaking out because he didn't have any homework due the next day. connor did but wasn't freaking out because he didn't give a fuck.

connor suggested they order pizza, and they both removed themselves from the sofa. evan asked him to wait a minute at the kitchen table so he could go get his laptop. 

connor noticed the yellow sticky note attached to the $20 note on the table.

hey ev, have a late shift and won't be back till midnight :(
order a pizza- don't get too anxious. you don't have to wait for change if that makes you more comfortable. you'll have to face small things like this sometime, it'll help you get better! if you can, pick up some more refills- the prescription leaf is on the fridge.
i love you! -mom x

this confirmed the suspicion that evan had some sort of anxiety disorder. he wasn't surprised- the kid was so jumpy and anxious that it didn't come as any kind of shock. it made him think about how hard it must be. to think about the consequences of every decision you make when connor did the opposite. to regret all the tiny mistakes you make. to be too scared to reach out.

connor made the executive decision to collect the pizza for evan. it was a small notion of friendship. but if it could make his day slightly better, then it would be worth it.

evan returned as connor leaned back in his seat, pretending that he hadn't read the note.
evan apologised for taking such a long time, placing the laptop between them.

he grabbed the sticky note and the money. he went bright red as he read through the note, crumpling it up and shoving it in his pocket.

they ordered and connor suggested they watched netflix whilst they waited. they assumed their positions on the couch, putting on an episode of rick & morty which connor claimed was the best thing on netflix.

connor wasn't watching though. he was focused on evan, noticing the little things he would do subconsciously; he would fiddle with the ends of his sleeves, and pulled at fraying bits on his oversized jumper. he'd reach up and run his fingers through his hair, all while his glazed eyes stayed glued to the screen.
he'd laugh every once in a while, forcing connor to turn his attention back to the show.

after half an hour, they heard the doorbell ring. evan immediately started panicking. he bit his lip and pulled his sleeves down. he was breathing heavily.

before he could get too far, connor stood up and said, "i got it."

he took fast, long strides to the table, grabbing the money and walking to the door and opening it without hesitation. he made smalltalk with the pizza girl with ease, before grabbing his change and returning to a visibly relieved evan.

evan collapsed back on to the couch and connor walked back over to him. they devoured the pizza, the blaring of the tv filling up the silence.

he looked over to evan again. it was dark outside, the only light shining on his face from the screen. his features were perfectly accentuated, his eyes drooping slightly from fatigue.
he was leaning on his hand, his face squished up against it. he turned and caught connor staring. he wasn't embarrassed, he just smiled at evan who smiled back before turning back to the show.

and he only could accept it- connor murphy had a crush.