A Slow Dance With Reality

I Will Always Be There

The lack of options to run to only made Lauren panic more. She couldn't go home even though her instinct told her to. She couldn't go to Camila's, though if she were being honest she had no clue why. Camila was the only thing in her life that made any sense anymore. Those brown eyes brought a clarity that Lauren Jauregui would never understand. It seemed the more she tried to flee the more trapped she became. It was rather eye-­opening to her, seeing how little friends she had at this point and time. No one to turn to in crisis except one. One perfectly amazing human being and Lauren was being far too stubborn to just go to her.

What was she so afraid of? Camila knew so much about her already, they had gotten close in a way that the Cuban had refused everyone else all her life. So what on Earth would be so bad about clinging to Camila?

Deep down Lauren knew. She knew it would be a mixture of fear; fear of losing Camila due to some odd twist of events or even just Lauren fucking up as always. Then there were her eyes. Camila's deep brown eyes looking at Lauren as if she'd been betrayed, Lauren could hear the question before she even imagined Camila's face. Why didn't you just tell me? Lauren sighed deeply at the tone her mind imagined, the hurt she created.

Her feet dangled as she sat backwards on the bleachers opposite of the school. These were much smaller than the "home" bleachers, but McKinley didn't have the budget to add more with the Cheerios stealing money whenever they could. It was probably one of the biggest issues ignored at the school, and it only reminded Lauren of her home life. If you ignore the big issues they cease to exist. Maybe it was a stretch, but Lauren rather liked that she found something to compare her life to.

Green eyes searched out in front of her, as if the thick shrubbery and lone road would give her any answers. The silence that she was surrounded with was actually kind of peaceful, and for the first time in a long time Lauren was feeling sad because of what people thought about her, and not about Taylor. It was actually incredibly twisted, but Lauren still smiled. Small but there. Only the corners of her lips lifted, and her arms that rested on the metal bar before her seemed less...foreign? Because that's what she had felt earlier; foreign in her own body. As if she didn't fit there, it wasn't her life she could be living. Because how on earth was one person's life this hard? God gave everyone what he thought they could handle, clearly he was putting far too much stock in Lauren Jauregui.

She more felt the company of someone behind, then she heard it. Had she not been lost in the greenery and street before her she would have heard it easily, this set of bleachers not exactly the most secure. "So this is where you ran off to." Shawn's voice called as he sat heavily next to her.

She had to admit, this was a surprise. The two hadn't talked much this year, in fact, Lauren was pretty sure she'd never actually spoken to him since he joined Glee club. "I wondered since I saw that Camila was still sitting at the front of the school," he continued, looking out at the same scene she was. A part of Lauren wondered if he saw the same thing she was as he looked out. Did he see the serenity behind the abandoned road and wild bushes? "You should probably let her know you're okay. She said she wasn't leaving until she saw you, it was quite dramatic with her stomped foot and all."

It took Lauren a moment to realize that Shawn's conversation was completely one-­sided. And still she could only manage a small sentence of, "I'll be sure to do that."

Silence encased the two, Lauren wondering if Shawn was going to stay until she actually did go and see Camila and Shawn working up the courage to tell Lauren his own secret. Whether it would help or not was beyond him, he didn't know Lauren like some of the other kids here did but it was worth a shot if it meant helping out when needed.

"I had a cousin once," he started awkwardly, never taking his eyes off the scene before him. "He was a jock, it runs in the family." With a shrug Shawn smiled playfully, knowing Lauren wouldn't interrupt him. She just didn't seem like the type to talk much when she was hurting if his only experience with her said anything. "Anyways, he had everything I could have wanted. Anyone could have wanted really; scholarships, scouts looking at him, money, and a pretty face to top it all off. Not to mention a smoking girlfriend," Keeping his tone light, Shawn sent Lauren a sideways glance, curious to know her expression and not at all surprised to see it so sculpted. "But I guess there wasn't something right for him, or he wasn't telling us everything because well...like I said...I had a cousin once."