Still In Love With You. [LA LA LAND]

La La Land: Alternate Ending

Mia's POV

The moment I step out of Sebastian's club I feel a painful ache in my chest. This isn't how our story is supposed to end. My head feels cloudy and my heart is beating rapidly in my chest. I can't deny that I've never loved anyone the way I loved Sebastian. He was my world when I was younger, and he still is. I got married three years ago, and my husband is lovely and he's a great person and he cares about me, but he's not Sebastian. I knew deep down, all those years ago, that nobody would ever be able to replace Sebastian. Randomly walking into Seb's felt like a kick to the chest. I never expected to see him again, let alone stumble across his successful jazz club that we always used to dream about.

The moment our eyes locked across the busy club, my breath caught in my throat. God, he was still so beautiful. He never changed. There was sadness in his blue eyes as he stared at me, a sadness I'm positive wasn't there before. It had been so long since those big blue eyes had stared into mine. Nostalgia tore through me as I looked at him. A painful but genuine smile crossed his face, and he seemed to be feeling the same way I did. I used to wonder if he ever thought about me too, and now it appears I have my answer. The pain is written all over his beautiful face.

I'm unable to move as I hold back tears and give him my best attempt at a smile back, and he nods his head. He thinks I'm happy. If only he knew how much I longed for him. How much I want him and need him.

He turns his head back to the piano and gets lost in another song, just like he always does. I feel like this is where I'm supposed to leave but my brain is no longer communicating with the rest of my body, and I feel like I'm frozen in time. I can't leave. I feel like this is a now-or-never situation. I'm paralyzed with the fear that I might never see him again.

My husband walks back down the stairs and gently brushes the back of my arm, snapping me back into reality. "You coming Mia?" he asks and I gulp and nod my head.

"Yeah, let's go," I say, defeated and disappointed in myself. He doesn't deserve this. He's a good guy. But if I'm being brutally honest with myself, I know I'll never love him like I loved Sebastian.

_________________________

It's been two weeks since that night in Seb's club, and I can't stop thinking about Sebastian. The way his long fingers slid across the piano keys, the same way they used to slide across my skin. I get goosebumps just imagining it. My husband and I haven't had sex in months and he's become very absent minded. He's not romantic in the same way Sebastian was. The same way Sebastian is. I didn't fail to notice that he chose to play our song that night in the club. He wants me to remember what we had. What we're missing out on.

It's a Saturday night and my husband is out of town on business. I'm bored and alone and I have nothing better to do, so I decide to go to Seb's. It's probably not the greatest idea I've ever had, and maybe it's something I'll regret later, but I need to see him again. There's a gaping hole in my heart and I know Sebastian is the only one who can fill it.

I decide on a navy-blue dress, similar to the dress I wore on the very first night we met, and head out the door. I feel nervous as my driver takes me to the club, my stomach is twisting and turning and I'm thinking maybe this isn't such a great idea. I'm about to tell my driver to turn around when we pull up in front of the club. "Mrs. Dolan," he says softly.

"Thank you, Harold," I say to my driver as I quickly step out of the car and make my way inside. I pass by the glowing neon blue Seb's sign, and make my way down the stairs. There's no turning back now. My heart is thudding loudly in my chest as the club comes into full view, and I quickly scan the crowd, searching for his face. It's dark in the club and it's so crowded, a sea of a hundred faces.