i once felt safety in hearing his voice, security, something i could trust to not betray me.
i used to get a warm feeling inside when i thought about us talking in all hours of the night, or thinking about times we laughed and times we said i love you.
i used to think someone so wonderful, someone that could make me feel so amazing all the time and that was there for me every single day, someone who i trusted with everything in my life, couldn't ever make me feel as terrible as i do right now.
i now feel hatred, not for him, but for myself letting me love him and get so attached.
i now have a sick, empty feeling when i think about how much time i wasted talking to him, how much i told him, how much i loved him and trusted him, how much i thought he were different and wasn't gonna leave.
i now wish i never continued talking to him so i wouldn't feel so alone at 3am when i see him talking to other people.
i never knew how quickly you could go from talking to someone every single day to never talking again.
i have wasted so many tears and nights thinking about him, so many memories that don't matter anymore.
i hate myself for loving him like i do.
