murmur (l.s.)

part four

a.n. a lil smut warning here:) final part!

They shared their name signs with each other on April 20th.

Harry remembered, from their first encounter, Bear, but he'd never really understood it. He was quite determined to find out its meaning.

Because first they only saw each other on Fridays, but soon the Fridays turned into Sundays when they would walk down Memorial Drive together in the March morning dew while chewing on McDonald's french fries and not even attempting to communicate, just walking.

Then Fridays and Sundays turned into Thursdays as well, which was when they would actually communicate, and then Fridays, Sundays, and Thursdays turned into texting back and forth every night. And texting was nicer for Louis, for the both of them, because suddenly they weren't deaf teenagers anymore, they were just teenagers.

So on Thursday the 20th, Harry signed hi Bear with a huge smile on his face when Louis greeted him at the door. He was...confused. And then he found it quite hysterical, the sheepish and embarrassed look on Harry's face. And so that Thursday they spent more than an hour talking about their name signs; Louis' 'L' right over the heart, Harry's 'H' right over his dimple. They fit each other so remarkably well it was unbelievable.

That was the first time they revealed something so big to the other. It was a step.

When they texted, they would talk about things they weren't able to capture in sign language. The best books they'd ever read. Their favorite seasons, and why. Their first pets and how they'd felt when they died. And perhaps the thing that most intrigued Louis: their sexualities.

Louis was simple. Gay. He liked boys. That was it. Harry, on the other hand, was torn between bisexual and pansexual. He'd typed out one night that if he liked a trans person, he wouldn't want them to feel like he didn't consider them a valid gender because he wasn't bisexual. So if he liked a trans boy, he would say he was bisexual and into a boy. Not pansexual and into a trans person.

What about genderfluid and agender people? People who don't conform to the idea of gender? Louis had replied.

There was a long pause.

You're right. I guess I'm pansexual.

Another topic came up in early April; one that'd been brought up by Harry.

Lou, have u ever had sex with a boy?

Louis' fingers had frozen against his screen. What was the purpose of this question? Was Harry having sex with a boy? Was he being safe? Did Harry like another boy? Did Harry want to have sex with another boy? A shock pulsed through him. Did he not want to have sex with a boy but he was being made to do it anyway?

Louis had supposedly become rather protective of Harry over the course of three months.

He settled for a blatant why?

I was just wondering, Harry typed. You don't have to tell me. It's ok.

Louis had to breathe and gather his senses back together for a moment.

that's a tough question, H. I've done sexual things with other boys before but I've never... had sex with one, you know?

Harry took another minute, and then said, ok.

They'd gone to sleep then, but Louis never forgot this conversation.