saudade

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saudade (portuguese): the feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. another linguist describes it as a "vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist."

when the used-to-be alcoholic finally realized their mistake after one's departure; they became lost. they didn't know their reasoning for their sudden change. they don't remember a single thing.

they wouldn't have known that a relationship had a large impact on them.

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