one more day. | pjm √

ENTRIES

22nd September

The constant beeping of the machines. The smell of the hospital that you know too well. Disinfectant, the white sheets, equipment, your diagnosis, voices of patients.

Your heart is empty. You look at the same ceiling everyday, a torturous cycle that engulfs your entire being.

As you turn to the right, the patient beside you is conversing with a family member.

"Eunjae...how are you?" a familar voice calls out to you. As you look over, sure enough, your psychiatrist is standing there. Her expression displays pity and sadness for you.

"I failed again." you simply mumble emotionlessly.

"I failed killing myself."

The psychiatrist, stares at you with pain in her eyes.

"Eunjae, I want you to meet someone." she holds your hand tightly. You didn't notice, but your hand was trembling.

"He's one of my patients. Please....do it for me..." she pleads you.

Looking at her begging eyes full of hope for you, you smile softly at her.

"I'll live just a little longer."

23rd september, 9.32am

You walk into a confined place, guarded by multiple officers. Behind a glass panel, a young man with grey hair sits at the opposite side. He wears something like white pajamas. As you walk in, he stares at you coldly.

You sit down, facing him. The two of you separated only by glass. He looks deeply in your eyes, and you can't seem to look away. You recognised the look in his eyes , a look that's distant, lifeless, and cold. A look that tells a story of sadness and grief. A look that seems so far...so far away.

The two of you did not exchange any words. The both of you understood.

This person is just like me.

He slowly takes the phone into his hands, not leaving your eyes. He puts it next to his ear. You follow his actions.

"Park Jimin." his voice was cold as ice.

You try to open your mouth to say something. But you only manage to respond with tears flowing down your cheeks.

"You're the same as me." he forces a smile.

Both of your souls had a connection. You feel as if you've known him, known him longer than you have. You understood what he went through, you understood him. And so does he. He's suddenly an old friend, the last, sole purpose for you to hang on another day just before your body fails. You already know, that both of you were long dead inside.

"Gu Eunjae." your voice is shaky and limp.

It was then when the session ended. It was short, but you've exchanged a life's worth of words in the few minutes that you met him. You stand up.

He looks down, not knowing what to say. The officer escorts you out.

24th september, 3.45pm