There is something happening inside of my heart and I can't give you the coordinates as to where it has traveled. I have left my words near lips that say wouldn't you know, I didn't want to stay. I can't tell you if I'll be okay by tomorrow, but my god, I will proudly stand here just to give you hope that I will be alright. I'm too young to be this sad and the really shitty part is most days– I don't know why I'm sad at all, I just am. Like the stillness of a song right before the chorus breaks in, or the part of the movie when the piano comes in– I am more than a pile of broken bones waiting to reshape everything that I once knew as more than sorrow and promises of yeah, I'll be right here tomorrow. We don't get to choose how it ends, hell, we don't even get to pick who we fall in love with. Or so it goes. Or so she'll know. Or so I've said. Or so she wrote. Or so I'll be. Or so I am. A poet's favorite poem will always be his first, regardless if it was terrifyingly cheesy– I keep my arms wrapped around the idea that I'll come to my senses some day. Nostalgia likes to haunt the upside down hillside heart that breaks when thoughts become to tender and you've been trying to toughen yourself up– one simple mistake can change your whole life, one simple love can change your whole perspective, one simple night can bloom your mind into a rose garden made to never wilt and if I put two and two together, where are we in all of this? If you are moonlight that keeps me up, if you are sunshine that fuels the youth, if you are the coldest winter upon lips that want nothing more than to kiss you back to sleep, if you are the hottest summer breaching through my veins just to say that I have been meaning to see you again, if you are in love with me and I'm not in love with you, if you surrender the truth just to hear a tainted lie, if you wake up and I'm not around, if you're alone and I'm no longer alive, if I'm nothing but more memories that you can't forget, if I'm just another person who isn't worth your time, if I'm a fool for you just like how you're a fool for me, if I am made from the saddest poems and you always knew how and when to say it's okay if you're not, if I'm just here and you're just there, if you've got feelings for me and I can't reciprocate the feelings, if I'm too complicated and hard to love, if you've made things between us this much more confusing, if I am not how you imagined, if I'm disfigured and no longer retain my youth some day, if I can't speak and lose my sight, if I'm dying because of the ashes in my lungs, if I'm no longer a writer and not as sweet, if I no longer remember your name and I can't provide home, if I'm lost and never find my way back to never land, if I'm just a word that I can't utter to you, if I'm melted snow and you are the sun, if I'm a nuclear meltdown and you are Mother Nature, if I'm the candle wax and you're the flame that'll go out some day, if we're just too damn stubborn to leave this as it is, if this world was perfect and I knew how to love you right, if I felt better and wasn't so self-conscious, if I could accept your feelings for me without comparing you to another that had hurt me, if I could be anything for you, if I lost my freewill, if I lost my ability to decide, if I am sadness and you are joy, if I am nothing but the tears falling down your eyes, if I am everything that has pushed you away, if I am every excuse that a man has ever said to you, if I break your heart today and tomorrows , if love wasn't so damn complex and I wasn't afraid to love people– if wasn't scared shitless to fall in love with people, do you think that this could work?
