Escaping in Oz

Chapter Twelve

Xander

I arrive at the party just after nine and immediately spot Ozzie in a group of guys. They must be playing a game or something because they are laughing and passing around a phone. When one guy grabs Ozzie's arm and leads him to a table in the corner, I start to sweat. I begin to walk toward them with my fists clenched while I try to come up with a plan to deal with this in a reasonable way.

It's not like Ozzie's my boyfriend and I can just go steal him from the arms of this dude. Ozzie can't be my boyfriend because I can't have a boyfriend. Ever. My life will consist of loneliness and frustration as I run my dad's company. Yippee.

Why am I holding back again? Why do I have to be a martyr?

When I think of the way Ozzie's blue eyes light up when he laughs or how he tucks his chin to his chest when he's feeling shy, it's easy to forget about my parents and their stupid beliefs. If wanting their son to find love and happiness isn't their number one belief, then they have issues. Not me. So, again, why am I holding out on this thing with Oz?

I know what I should do. What I want to do. What I don't know is what Oz would want me to do. The way he's chatting with this dude makes me wonder if he's into him. Ozzie seems comfortable with the guy. I've only seen him that relaxed with me a few times. What is this guy doing that I didn't do? Oh, right. This guy didn't reject him. He didn't send Oz home with a shattered ego.

I've been staring at the dude long enough that he finally looks at me. My eyes bounce to Ozzie and notice he's watching me too. Fuck. What do I do now? Should I leave? I probably should, but I don't want to. I don't want to leave Ozzie here with this guy. With any guy that isn't me.

My feet are moving toward them again. When I arrive at the table, Ozzie's stare is unreadable. The other guy stands and offers his hand to me. "Hey, I'm Johnny. Are you a friend of Oz's?"

Friend? I don't even think I qualify as an acquaintance at this point. But I don't want this guy to know that, so I nod. "Xander."

"Good to meet you, Xander." Johnny looks back at Oz and notices his slack-jawed expression. "Hey, you want me to get us a couple of waters?"

Ozzie looks to Johnny and gives him a small smile. "That'd be great. Thanks, Johnny."

As soon as we're alone, I drop into the empty chair and slide it close to Ozzie. My knees rest against the side of his thigh, and when I lean forward, I'm close enough to kiss him. Close enough to smell the faint cologne he's wearing. He never put on cologne to hang out with me.

Dammit. Maybe I'm too late. Maybe while I was sulking and being an asshole for the past few weeks, Oz was falling for this Johnny guy. Fuck!

I take a deep breath and think about what I want to say. There are so many places to begin, but I say the first thing that comes out of my mouth. "I'm sorry about everything."

Ozzie nods without making eye contact. His hands are laced together on the table, and he's staring at them. I put one of mine on top and hold them. "I was wrong."

Ozzie's breath catches as he glances up at me. "About what?"

This isn't the time or the place, but I can't wait a minute longer. If I don't say it now, Johnny could come back and ruin everything. Ruin my chance for happiness. Maybe my only chance.

"About what I want. I was more worried about my parents' happiness than my own. And I'm too fucking old to let them rule my life." I squeeze his hands and brush my thumb across his wrist.

Ozzie finally meets my eyes and really looks at me. "So what do you want?"

I hope he sees the sincerity in what I'm saying. "I want you," I whisper. "If, you know, you still want me."

He gives me that shy smile I love. "I might."

"Might?" My free hand lands on his knee and nudges his body around so he's facing me. "Well, maybe I'll need to convince you."

"I'd like to see you try." Ozzie raises a challenging eyebrow.

"Will you come back to my place?"

Ozzie nods, and we both stand to leave. I push back my chair, and Johnny is suddenly beside me. "I guess you guys won't be needing these?" he says playfully, holding up two bottles of water.

"Sorry, Johnny. Um, we're gonna head out."

"No worries, Oz." He puts his arm on Oz's shoulder and pats him twice. I try to hold back a growl that's threatening to escape. "I'm glad you came. Both of you." He smiles and turns to me.

"Me too," Ozzie says, looking around the room. "This is pretty cool."

"I hope we'll see you guys back here again."

"Definitely." Ozzie waves to the guys he was talking to earlier as I drag him out of there.