Undefined (Book #1 Joshler)

CHAPTER 45: Talk To Me

JOSH'S VIEW ~

To say I'm worried about Tyler is an understatement.
Each episode he has gets worse.
I wish I knew how to make everything be okay.
I wish I could just snap my fingers and everything would be okay.
But I can't.
I'm scared that their not gonna let me see him anymore because of how bad he's getting.
I haven't slept in about three days, well neither has Tyler.
Blurrys been extremely active lately, especially during the night.
Tonights no different.
Tyler's sitting at the end of the bed fighting with blurry.
It's two in the morning.
I know that Tyler wants to go curl up in the corner or something but he can't because of his rib.
"No stop it. Your lying. Stop lying to me. St-"
I cut him off.
"Tyler come here."
He turned to look at me.
I opened my arms in a way that tells him to come over so I can hug him.
He slowly made his way over to me and sat in between my thighs, his back pressed to my stomach and chest.
I wrapped my arms around him making sure not to touch his ribs.
I rested my chin on his shoulder.
"Talk to me."
"About what?"
"Anything. I just want to get your mind off blurry even if it is only for a little bit."
"Oh.. Um.. I don't know."
"Fine. Let me talk to you then."
"Okay."
"Tyler?"
"Yes?"
"Do you know how much I love you?"
".. Yes?"
"I don't think you do. I love you so much. I wish I could show you just how much I love you. I want you to know."
"I love you too."
"Do you know how beautiful you are?"
"I'm not beautiful..."
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not."
"Your the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. More beautiful then the sky, then the ocean, or all the flowers or all the stars. Your beautiful Tyler. I never get tired of looking at you. Ever."
"Really?"
"Really. Do you know what I wish I could do for you? What I wish I could give you?"
"What?"
"I wish I could take you away. Right now.... I wish I could give you anything and everything you've ever wanted... I wish I could make everything better, Make blurry go away. I want to give you my all. Everything that I have I want to give to you because I love you so much and I'd rather give you everything and have nothing for myself then it be the other way around."
Tyler smiled and leaned into me more.
"I love you Tyler. So much."
"I love you too."

I placed tiny kisses to his neck.
"That tickles." he giggled.
I smiled.
"Tyler?"
"Yes?"
"I want you to tell me what you want to do with your life.... After you get out of here what do you want to do? What do you see yourself doing?"
"I can't."
"Why?"
"I can't see a future for myself. All I can see are these four walls."
"Okay... What would you like to do then? Even if it doesn't happen."
"Um.. I'd like to be with you... I'd like to.. Marry you... And have a family... And play music.. And be happy."
"You want kids?"
"Mhm."
"What would you name them?"
"I would want a little girl and I'd name her... Ruby."
"I like that."
"Oo and I'd want a dog and a cat."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Where would you want to live?"
"Anywhere.. As long as I'm with you."
I smiled.
"What kind of wedding would you want?"
"a pretty one."
I chuckled.
"What colors would you want it to be?"
"Umm... Blue or purple."
"Why not both?"
"Good point."
It peppered more kisses down his neck.
"Josh?"
"Mhm?"
"Why are you asking me all these questions?"
"Just curious."
"Oh....uh..umm... Would you uh.. Want any of that?"
"All of it baby."
"You would? Even the kid and pets?"
"Yep."
"A-and you would want to marry me?"
"Yes, I want to marry you Tyler."
"You do?"
"Yes. I do."
He smiled.
"I don't deserve you Josh."
"Don't say that."
"It's true. Your too good to me. I'm not good enough for you Josh. I don't deserve you."
"Don't talk that way Tyler. It upsets me."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't apologise. You just need to know that your the best thing to ever happen to me okay? I would not ask for my life to be different in any way shape or form. Tyler, not only do you deserve me but you deserve the whole world and I would give it to you if I could."
Tyler turned his head and kissed my temple.
I looked up at him, gently grabbed his chin and kissed him.

"Can we sleep Joshie?"
"Can you? Like is he being quiet enough for you to?"
"Yes. He's been quiet since we started talking."
"Good. Lets sleep then."
I leaned my back against the headboard.
Tyler fell asleep in my lap with his back pressed to my chest.
I kissed the top of his head and drifted off to sleep as well.