Just Another Gilmore

Explanations

Logan's face went from pure adoration to confusion to hurt so fast that Rory could barely register it.

She wondered if he knew how much it nearly broke her to say no; she knew the kind of life she and her child could have with Logan, and she knew she could be happy with it, with him.... for the most part. And with her career having flown off the tracks and moving back home and with no other prospects in sight, she could just about bring herself to settle for "almost" happy. But deep down, so deep down she could barely find it in herself anymore, she knew that settling had never been an option for her, that knowing that she had chosen almost happy over what could have been would stick with her every single day.

"No," she said again, slightly more sure of herself this time. "Logan, I want you to be a part of this child's life if that's what you want, but... that doesn't mean that we have to be together. You have a fiancée, one that your father would let you dump only over his dead body, not to mention a job that requires you to fly all over the world all year long. You've spent all of two months in the States this past year and for no more than four days at a time! I mean, you have to see that it's unrealistic, right?"

Logan had started shaking his head the minute she mentioned Odette. "Rory, listen to me," he said, putting both hands on her arms in a silent plea for her to hear him. "I don't give a damn about any of that. Odette doesn't love me, I have my suspicions that she's sleeping with a guy in London every time I'm out of town anyway. She won't care if we break our engagement, and as for my father and the business, you know I'd give it up in a heartbeat for you. I know you know because I've suggested it at least three times since you turned down my proposal at graduation and every time you say no. Say yes this time, Ace," he pleaded. "Let this baby be your reason to say yes."

Rory looked at him with softness in her eyes; no matter how many times he offered to give up everything for her, she never got used to being loved that much. She knew he loved her, and she loved him too, but it wasn't enough. She had to do the right thing for herself and her baby, and as much as her heart might have wanted it, being with Logan wasn't it.

"I can't," she said quietly, knowing that there was no reason to apologize but feeling as if she ought to anyway. "I can't ask you to leave all that for me. If you don't love Odette, break up with her. If you don't love what you do, stop doing it. But please, please don't do any of it for me. From now on I'm... nothing more than the mother of your child. We're friends, we'll be parents in about seven months, but we are no longer lovers and we're certainly not in any kind of romantic relationship. I need to go my own way, and you have to accept that, Logan," she finished.

He looked at her for a long time, weighing his options. On the one hand, he could keep arguing and possibly drive her even further away, taking his unborn child with her. She was stubborn; he loved that about her, but he also knew it would work against him. Or, he could accept that while Rory would always be in his life now, she would never be his again. While he wasn't sure he would ever be ready to accept the latter, he thought he could settle for something in between the two.

"Okay," he said again, sighing and settling onto a bar stool across from her. "So what do you suggest?"

—————

After a several-hours-long discussion with Logan about the future and how they wanted things to be with the two of them and their child, an emotionally and mentally exhausted Rory wanted nothing more than to crash at Paris' place and sleep for twelve hours straight. Unfortunately, her mom and Luke were getting back from their honeymoon the next morning and Rory wanted to be there to make sure the house was ready, which meant driving back tonight.

When she finally walked through the front door, she nearly had a heart attack at the sight of Lorelai popping her head around the doorframe and saying, "Hi, hon!"

"Oh my God!" Rory exclaimed, bending over and trying to regulate her breathing.

"Geez, is jumpiness a side effect of pregnancy?"

"What are you doing here?" Rory asked exasperatedly, ignoring the question.

"We came back a day early!" Lorelai said perkily.

"You don't say?" Rory commented as she walked into the living room and collapsed onto the sofa. "The unspoken point of that question was 'why,', specifically, why did you guys cut your trip short?"

"We didn't really, we'd have left first thing in the morning anyway and I think we'd exhausted every quirky craft fair and country music hotspot in Tennessee several days ago. I never want to hear 'Ring of Fire' again ever."

"I don't think you'll have to worry," Rory said dryly.

"So where've you been? Babette said you took off somewhere yesterday and you were gone all night."

"Yeah, I crashed at Paris' house last night and this morning I told Logan. And speaking of Babette, I should probably let it slip to her or Patty as well so that I can scratch telling the rest of the town off my list."

"Good plan. So how'd Logan take the news?"

Rory sighed. "I suppose not terribly, all things considered. He tried to get me to agree to be with him, but at least I was prepared for that. We had a long talk and basically agreed to play it by ear until the baby gets here and we can figure out some sort of system for how things will work. There's not much he can do at the moment anyway. He did say that he wanted to be there for the ultrasounds though, and that when I got within two weeks of my due date he'd figure out a way to be in the States till I delivered."

Lorelai reached out and rubbed Rory's knee. "I'm proud of you, kid. You're handling this so much better than I did."

"Yeah, well, you were sixteen and living with Grandma, so I think I have a bit of an edge already," Rory laughed.

"Glad to know I'm not as much of a living terror in this situation as my mother was," Lorelai said with an air of mock superiority. "But seriously, it sounds like you and Logan have figured out about as much as it's possible to figure out at this stage. You just have to take it one day at a time for a while."

"How long is a while?" Rory asked, whining a little but genuinely curious.

"Oh honey," Lorelai said, looking at her daughter fondly. "I know how much you love to plan, but you just walked into the one thing in this world that there truly is no preparing for. Revel in it."

"Too tired to revel," Rory said sleepily, eyes already closing.

"Aww, okay, well you just rest and I'll see you in the morning then," Lorelai babytalked softly, pulling a blanket off the back of the couch and over Rory's half-asleep form.

"Love you, mom," Rory mumbled as Lorelai carefully crept out of the room.

"I love you too, kid," she whispered back.