it's alarming // truly how disarming // she can be // fooling everyone, telling them she's having fun.
___
"One more gram," I plead. Travis holds the bag away from me.
"You've already had six, Carmen. This isn't good for you."
"For fuck's sake, Travis, you're not good for me either."
I sighed. "Okay, okay. At least pass me a cigarette."
He runs his fingers through his hair, then hands one over. "I honestly don't know why I listen to you." I motion for him to come closer, and he lights it for me.
I close my eyes and take a long, almost painful breath. I look over at Travis. I'd already decided that tonight was the night we'd fuck. It seemed the timing was right. After all, it wasn't like I was going to take Bryce back, not after what he'd done.
He glances at his watch. "We'd better get going," he says. "The party starts in only half an hour." I nod my head and finish off my cigarette, then toss the butt into the grass.
"Let's go," I say, already up and heading to Travis' familiar navy blue truck, and climbing into the passenger seat.
We drive in silence. I try my best not to think of Bryce. Perfect, perfect Bryce, who'd only loved me for as long as I could remember.
---
"Need a ride, princess?" I looked up to find a tan-skinned, dark haired Greek-god like figure smiling down at me. I was only fifteen at the time, and I'd heard of Bryce Collins. He was cunning and manipulative, and Travis had warned me to stay away from him and his friends. I glanced at my phone. It was only four-thirty, but my mom hadn't answered all thirty-two of my calls, and it didn't seem like she was planning on it anytime soon.
"Actually," I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder. "I do. 1730 Carnell Street."
He opened the passenger side door for me, motioning for me to come inside.
No one had ever opened a car door for me.
I climbed in and fastened my seat belt, and watched as he did the same. He clicked the radio on, and an upbeat 80's tune started to play. "Sorry," he says with an embarrassed smile as he turns it off. I liked that about him, how nervous he always became around me. He drives and drives. I stare out the window, letting my hair curtain us.
Suddenly, the path is unfamiliar. "Where are we going?" I ask. I began to regret getting into a car with him. Why didn't I just stay on the bench and wait for my mom, the way I always do?
"I've gotta make a quick stop first," he says. He notices the fear in my eyes. "Don't worry," he says. "You're safe with me. I wouldn't let anyone hurt you."
---
"Carmen?" Travis asks, his blue eyes large and concerned. I shake away the memory the best I can, and grab my coat. "We're here."
I make my way into the house. It's crowded, and the mood is very light. People are still arriving. I cling to Travis and talk to a few other girls who seemed harmless. After a while, Travis nudges me. We're both bored, so I make a quick excuse and we head over to the bar. Travis watches as I down four shots, but politely declines when the bartender offers him a glass.
Upon getting up, I stumble, and he catches me. I soon remember why I'd agreed to attending this party in the first place. With a coy smile, a grab a fistful of his hair and lunge for him. I'd never kissed anyone but Bryce before, so this was completely new territory for me.
To my surprise, Travis pushes me away, disgusted. "What's gotten into you, Carmen?"
"If everything goes the way I plan, you'll be getting into me pretty soon," I slur.
He shakes his head. "You're drunk."
"But my thoughts are sober." I reach for him again. "I love you, Travis."
"Would you stop that? I can't even look at you right now." He grabs my arm. "C'mon." he says. "I'm taking you home."
"No, you aren't. I haven't even snorted anything yet. The party's just started," I whine.
His eyes pierce into mine, but he lets go of my arm. "Okay," he says. "But don't think you can pull anything. I'm not letting you out of my sight."
Two hours later, the party's reached its peak. People grinding against each other, lopsided and blurred. But I know where the real intimacy is. I make my way up a stairway, Travis trailing right behind me. We enter a room and find a circle of guys and girls with deadly stares. "Level." I say, and they nod their heads in approval. After all, I was one of them.
I sit myself next to a guy with a purple scar. He looks me over, then passes me a gram. I snort it immediately, letting it feed my growing addiction. I hand it over to the girl next to me, and it makes it all the way around the circle. Again, Travis quietly declines. "Have a little fun," I say to him. He shoots me a look. I can tell that he's furious after noticing the way his left eyebrow is arched, but that doesn't stop me from turning to my left and lip locking the man with the scar.
Before I know it, my clothes are off, and suddenly I don't want to do this anymore. This isn't how things were supposed to go.
But I'm terrified of this stranger and the way he holds me, and the last thing I could do is tell him to stop. So instead, I pretend to enjoy it, and even sneak a smile every now and then.
But Travis can see right through me.
"Get off of her," he spits.
The man ignores Travis and continues kissing me, each kiss getting more and more hungry. All around us, the people in the circle are still passing the powder.
Couldn't they see the fear in my eyes?
"I said get off of her," Travis warns. His eyes are cold and deadly as they lock with the man's.
One of the girls in the circle finally decides to speak up. "Damon, just leave her alone."
Damon releases me then, but not without first giving my neck a harsh bite.
Travis takes my arm then, leading me out of the room. Once we're out in the hallway, he hands me my clothes. "You're messing with the wrong people, Carmen."
---
Author's Note: Hey, so it's been over a year since I've written anything in this story. I'd written this chapter months ago but never had the confidence to post it, and it may be taken down later on as I figure out the plot and shape the characters a lot more thoroughly. Feedback is extremely appreciated so don't be afraid to drop a comment and let me know what you think.
Thank you x.
