not so different | tracob au

four

Warning ⚠ bullying, violence, very slight mention of self harm

Troye Mellet never told anyone anything.

He keeps his feelings bottled up and doesn't know how to control himself. He'd rather shut his mouth and stay quiet than tell people what he's actually feeling. He's pliant and soft, not just soft looks but a soft heart that loves too much and never expects love in return. He doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings so he'd much rather let them hurt his.

He'd also rather dig his fingernails into his palm until he bleeds. He'd rather feel the pain shoot up his hand than feel himself lose control.

So, Troye Mellet is not perfect.

Everyone else around him is just too blind to see it.

He relies too much on Connor to protect him. He leans on the boy so much that when he's by himself he doesn't know how to make the bad thoughts go away. He knows that he's crazy. It's not normal for people to think such bad thoughts. It's not normal for people to inflict pain on themselves when they feel like they're losing control. But yet, he doesn't stop or tell anyone.

He is currently in the boys bathroom splashing water onto his face. His hands are shaking and his mind is spinning, having been set off because of a comment someone said to him in the hallway. He's never been good with people calling him names. He's weak.

He jumps when the door slams open, revealing four boys from the football team. Troye flinches, hurrying to dry his hands before attempting to leave the small bathroom.

"Hey, Mellet." One of the boys, he thinks his name is Ross, shoves him back. He cries out when his body slams back into the sink. "Where do you think you're going," Ross steps closer to him, lips brushing against his ear, "Fag."

A tear rolls down Troye's cheek, making the boys surrounding him laugh. "Where's your little boyfriend, Connor?" One of them asks, making Troye glare at the boy.

"He's not my boyfriend." Troye scowls, flinching again when Ross lifts his hand up to roughly grab Troye's face.

"But I bet you wish he was." Troye whined quietly as the boys all took a step closer, Ross' grip on his face tightening painfully. "I bet you wish he was fucking you." Troye became dizzy as their tall, broad bodies surrounded him. He couldn't fight back, he was weak and they were on the football team. Surely they could snap him in half if they wanted to.

"Let me go or I'll tell Coach Butler." Troye threatened weakly.

Troye cried out when Ross let go of him to swing a punch at him, the blow so hard it left his head spinning and his body swaying. His body slammed back into the mirror, the glass shattering into thousands of tiny shards. He fell to the ground and curled up, his cries turning into pleas for them leave him alone. He felt a harsh kick on his back and another one on his abdomen.

"Please, stop. Please I'm sorry." He sobbed, feeling a warm liquid run down his chin from his mouth. He felt rough hands go under his armpits and lift him effortlessly off of the ground, his body too weak to fight back. He got another punch to his face, his head hanging weakly as they kept taking turns beating his body.

He just wanted it to stop.

Finally after what felt like hours, the boy holding his body up dropped him to the floor. Ross leaned down towards his shaking body. "What did you say you were going to do?" He whispered threateningly. Troye stood quiet, tears running down his cheeks as he wrapped his arms around his aching body. "Thought so." He spat at Troye before getting up and exiting the bathroom with the group of boys.

Troye stood on the ground for a couple of minutes before attempting to lift himself off of the floor. He flinched as the glass on the floor cut his hands. The pain in his body was too much for him to handle and he collapsed with a cry. He looked at his hands weakly, eyes feeling tired as he watched the blood gush out of his hands. They threatened to close and he wasn't fighting it, until he realized that he needed to get off of the floor before someone found him. He didn't want just anyone to find him. But he also needed someone.

For once he didn't want Connor. He always ran to the boy when he needed help but for once he didn't want Connor holding him.

He needed Jacob.

He reached down into his pocket for his phone, weakly pulling it out and bringing it to his face. He squinted at the screen, shaking hands struggling to punch in his pass code. It took several tries to unlock his phone, and several more to find Jacob's contact and hit the green call button. He swallowed thickly, eyes glistening with more tears when he tasted the blood that was in his mouth. He placed the phone on the floor underneath his head and rested his head against the phone, too weak to hold the phone up any longer. He waited to hear the deep, soothing voice. It took several rings before Jacob answered.

"Jacob," Troye sobbed loudly, tears mixing in with the blood on his bruised face. "I need you. Please, Jakey, I need you."

a/n: thank you for all of the support you've been giving me with this book. Your comments mean so much to me.