My Girl

We lay in bed still in shock from the appointment from earlier that day. She was pregnant again! We were ecstatic and couldn't be happier. "What if its another boy?" She asked looking at the picture of our four boys that hung on the wall closest to me. I pulled her closer to me kissing her forehead. "Well if we have another boy we will love it just the same." I said as she rolled her eyes. Her blonde hair wrapped itself around my hand as I began playing with it. "If its a boy what about Shane?" I laughed smiling. "The Cooper's are naming their son that." "That's right. Carrie did tell me that." I stroked her hair. "What about Corbin?" She smiled immediately. "Corbin Dixon. I like it. What about Corbin Paul Dixon?" I nodded. "Boys names are always easy." She scoffed as we laughed. "Sophia?" My wife shook her head. "Ella?" I shook my head. "Why not its pretty." "Too girly." "Fine Ashley?" I shook my head. "Bella. Vanessa. Melissa." "Martha. Mary. Elizabeth. Marie." "Wait I like Marie. Could be a middle name." I said as she nodded. "Yeah." "Grace?" She shook her head. "Too common." "Tatum." I said smiling. I just knew it was a winner. "Tatum Marie? Uhmmm." "Tatum Grace Marie Dixon." We both smiled knowing we had found a name. I kissed her lips softly before staring deeply into her blue eyes. No matter if this baby was a girl or a boy, sick or healthy, good or bad we would love this baby till the end just like we loved our sons. And boy did we have a stubborn one coming. On July fourth at 12:16, our baby came into this world. A little girl, a precious little girl, wrapped in pink was handed to my wife and I. The surprise was amazing since we decided early on in the pregnancy to not find out what we were having. We smiled as her new older brothers excitedly held her, one of the middle children Blake pouted in the corner. He really wanted a little brother. My wife and I laughed at the thought and held our new baby girl late that night. She seemed so perfect. So peacefully. It was then when things went downhill. She got sick and was put into the NICU within hours. My wife and I cried and prayed and begged God to save our baby. She was a fighter, my girl was definitely a fighter. It took a month for her to get out of the NICU but she made it and a month later she was home in our arms. I would go into her bedroom and just hold her as I stared out the window. My baby girl was a fighter and I knew right then she'd be one of the most challenging kids yet. And I was right, the next sixteen years were some of the most difficult and strenuous years I could ever have. From broken arms, bruised ribs, and scraps and cuts, she became a daddy's girl. She acted as if she were one of the guys in the mud, driving a four-wheeler before she could ride a bike, giving her brothers black eyes and bruised limbs anytime they crossed her. But boy could that girl scream and holler. She would cry and scream and holler anytime she didn't get her way which was a lot of the time. My wife and I weren't into that giving in mess or anything like that. You have to work for what you want in your life in my house and while my baby girl was smart as a whip she was just too stubborn to do it. But she could do anything she set her mind to and she did. She still does. The determination and drive inside of her is like fire and she just keeps using the unending fire. As I watch over her in heaven, I see a changed girl. She isn't as loud and ambitious as she once was, she's quieter, less drawn to trouble. The laughter from her eyes is gone and the sparkle in her smile is seen less and less these days. I'm glad she's staying out of trouble but I miss my girl, I miss my little trouble maker who caused havoc wherever she went. I miss hearing their laughter and seeing them smiley and happy. I miss kissing my wife good morning. I miss the bickering teenagers that filled my house every night of the week. I miss the old Tatum Grace. I don't know why I died but it will make her stronger, it has to because if it doesn't it will kill her. And that'll kill me. She has so much going for her in her life, she's smart and beautiful and independent and amazing in every way. I just hope she can realize that before its too late, and if she has even a little piece of my girl in there then she will survive and she will be more than she could ever imagine.