Stop worrying.

For the past couple days, it's been hard to stop thinking about her. She's defined a lot of my recent actions, she's directed a lot of my recent ways, despite not really saying anything. I've thrown myself into the unknown just for her. I love her that way, and it's hard to say that I don't know if she feels the same.

"You have to understand, Miss. I've been thinking about her for quite sometime, and it's bugging me so much. She says I have to be patient about the whole 'relationship thingy', but I just can't do it...Can you talk to her?"

I sat on the phone with her mom for hours.

"I know, but...Ugh."

A final beep from the other line symbolizes another busy day.

"She's so busy. I can't even see her in person, because of it...I can't even text her because of it."

I had thought so much about it. About us. She doesn't see it as well as I do, but maybe if I adjust the point of view, things might change. I tried to stay positive, tried to keep my chin up. I tried...She had also gotten into a lot of arguments with my friend, they've been at each other for quite some time. The worst part was my position, in the chaotic warfare. Where I could only wish to sit at the edge of the pool, I was swimming, no, drowning in the insults I had to message between the two.

"Well he said, Well she said..."

I had been pinned at such a point, that I couldn't see myself shaking free. Who's side would I pick? I knew him for a long time, but she's such a great person...I finally decided, that I had enough. Relentlessly enforcing how much I despised the turn of events, I had turned my head from their ongoing conflict. When she realized that there was no point in continuing, she backed off, trying to keep the hazards of negativity out of her life. I was shocked how I wasn't gone with it. Instead of feeling accomplishment for surviving, I had better yet thought a distance would be fair enough...I always felt like I bothered her too much, anyways. 

I asked my friend about what I can do to occupate my time, and he said, "find something you're good at."

Video games won't help. I've played too many with both of them, and the memories would be too much to bear. So I climbed, instead.

I thought to myself: "The pressure of doing everything right will really help me forget about everything going on. I don't have to worry about her, or him. They don't have to worry about each other, and they don't have to worry about me." I was wrong...I worried too much. The pressure wouldn't help, it would just weigh down, more.

As I climbed the wall, I was welcomed to an unpresidented figure.

"You're not supposed to be here, what's up?" I said.

"I have nowhere else to go." She said.

"Why's that? I thought you had to work today." I replied.

"She is working, but I'm here." She stated. It was a cold, but subtle lifelessness in her voice.

"Are you okay?" I asked, still ledging on the wall.

"Are you okay?" She replied.

I stopped motioning towards the top, and looked up, at the edge where she stood.

"What's wrong?" I said.

She smiled. "You're the one who has a problem. You've worried too much about me, and too little about yourself." She replied.

"Cut it out." I said, I didn't believe this was panoramic self-concious, until she said.

"You think I'm really here, do you?" She asked.