Dream

Chapter one|chain

The best day of my life must be the day I had to take my first interview.

When I was just a child I always wore on some glasses, tied my hair and imagined to do interviews to the VIPs that I saw on TV. My mom always laughed at me, but it was my dream. When I ended high school I decided to take a university that would have helped me in fulfilling my dream.
I'd often visited London, I've always wanted to live there.

When I got to the city for the first time I felt like it was home, like that was my real place in the world. You know that weird feeling of being not in right place, even though you are with the right and most beautiful people? That was my constant emotion while living in my hometown. I kept wondering if  someone can be meant for somewhere else and not their own city.

The constant smell of rain, and the few, unreplaceable days blessed by a pale and shy sun that would warm the city up. I saw it and I felt like London was the place I was meant to live in.

As I graduated from university, I managed to get a job in a magazine's company in London, that collaborated with another firm. Together they were publishing also books: my biggest dream was coming true.
The day I got hired, was a warm August's day in my small hometown in Italy, and I had lost any hope particularly after the loss I had.
You got again your expectations too high. I told myself. You are hopeless. I thought I hadn't got hired because they had to send me an e-mail weeks before. I still remember that the day I opened the mail box for the hundredth time, I was just thinking about nothing in particular. Opening the e-mail everyday, at almlst every hour, had became my hobby. As I opened my already working computers, I refreshed the e-mail page. I remember the first days I was glaring at that little circle moving, signaling it was charging, now I was just absent-mindedly looking at it. The page got charged and a new e-mail was waiting for me. I screamed and my aunt came running probably thinking something bad had happened, but then as she looked at the monitor, she couldn'thelp but be just as happy as I was. Thinking about it now, I can still picture in my head her hazel eyes, I can still see the sadness reflected on them, the reason was probably because she knew that I wouldn't be there with her and my uncle. Was I being selfish?

That day I packed my things and the day after I was on a flight for London. I loved Italy, I really did and still do, it is full of history and art, and everything you could possibly think of, but I felt like London was waiting for me. I could have travelled back anytime I wanted to.

My uncle and aunt drove me at the airport and I brought along also my ukulele along with me.
As I got to the check-in, my uncle and aunt kissed and hugged repeatedly and with more love than ever.
I was almost changing my mind and thinking about staying.
I was at the gate and I gave the ID to the miss and I looked at it. Jane Wolstone, dark eyes, blonde. I have a very vague memory about my mother telling me the story of my name. I remembered my father as well. He was from England, that's why my surname is not italian. Mom has always told me that after my dad's continuous begging, she gave up and aggreed with dad to give me also an english name. I still recall her smile and the sound of her laugh. I looked at my picture and looked away rapidly, I hated that photo, I looked like a potato. Nothing like my mother anyway.

Twenty minutes later I was on the plane. It was at the moment in which the pilot told to hook the bells, that I realized how big the thing I was doing was. There was no way back, no more.
I hooked the safety bell and wore my headphones. Many years ago, I made a playlist which I've always kept updated. It is made of different singers, the thing that linked them all was the fact that all of them played indie rock music.
I've always listened to that playlist whenever I felt like something big was about to happen, or in those moments when you just want to reflect if what you are now doing is the best choice.
There's no way back. It's my turn to fulfill my dream. I thought.