Spencer Reid Imagines *REQUESTS CLOSED*

Starting Over

A quick note before you read this! It's sad, and I know that this isn't how Spencer is portrayed in the show, but 1.) I like to change things up and 2.) There will be plenty where I change his persona to fit a story, so just FYI. Also, there's some vulgar language in this one so if you don't care for that stuff then just skip it! Thanks everyone, enjoy!

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I stood across the room from Spencer, watching him arrange some books. My mind was racing and I felt almost sick. I knew that I had to ask him about what he had been doing today, but I didn't want to. I almost wanted to keep my mouth shut and ignore it, because I didn't want to lose him.

To recap: I saw Spencer today at a coffee shop with a girl that I didn't know. I was simply walking downtown and getting some fresh air, not spying by any means. They were both leaned in close, and their hands were touching over the table.

Now, I trust Spencer. Or, I did. I never believed that he'd cheat on me - not in a million years. He'd been my boyfriend and soulmate for over a year now, and I really thought that he was the one for me.

"Spencer, can I ask you something?" I finally asked with crossed arms and a slight frown.

"Sure baby," he nodded.

"Who were you with today?" Spencer seemed to tense up at the question.

"I was at work, so, the team," he muttered.

"No, over your lunch break. At the coffee shop. Who is she?" I asked again.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Spencer laughed. "I was at work."

"Good Lord," I sighed. "Could you stop lying to me? You know what I'm talking about. Coffee shop downtown, in fact, the one where we met. You were with a pretty little girl, brown hair and blue eyes... just like me. So explain."

"She's a new girl at work, I was making her feel welcome," he sighed.

"You hold hands with all your coworkers?" I scoffed. "I'm sure she feels real welcomed."

"Oh my God, just drop it," he commanded rudely.

"No," I said. "Tell me what you were doing holding hands with some bitch that isn't me!"

"She's not a bitch!" He yelled.

"Oh, I'm sure she isn't to you!" I accused. "I'm sure she's fucking wonderful!"

"You know what?" He laughed sarcastically.

"What, Spencer?"

"She is wonderful. She doesn't bitch like you, she doesn't get on my nerves, she doesn't bug me when I'm working and she's good at plenty of other things. I can go into detail if you'd like."

I stood, in shock. Is this really how he saw me? Some nagging bitch that just bugs him?

"That's what you think?" I asked quietly. I had started crying, because on top of my anger, Spencer had just broken my heart a little.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I think," he answered, walking closer to me. "You've gotten old to me and I can't take you anymore. I'm done with you, so you can leave. Come get all your shit later."

"How long?" Silence. "How long have I been such a nuisance to you?"

"For a while, now leave."

I looked up at his cold and distant face. The dissonance between us hurt like a stab wound. I was angry. I've wasted over a year, just to be treated like this.

"Fuck you, Spencer Reid."

I shoved him in the chest roughly and walked out the door. I couldn't breathe, and everything felt like it was going to fall apart. The floor was going to fall out from under me; the earth was going to break into bits.

I sped home and got into bed, trying to hide from all of my thoughts underneath the fluffy red duvet that Spencer had gotten me for my birthday. It didn't help, though.

Suddenly, I was attacked by the memory of him in my sheets. Everything from the smell to the feeling of the bed mangled my thoughts. The lovely nights we'd spent in this bed together and the soft days that were dedicated to cuddling were all waves crashing in my sea of memories. I couldn't help but bury my face into the pillow on his side of the bed and try to salvage what I had left of him - of us.

As I laid there, all his words came back to me.

"Just drop it!"

"She's not a bitch!"

"She doesn't bitch like you, she doesn't get on my nerves, she doesn't bother me when I'm working and she's good at plenty of other things."

"You've gotten old to me ... I'm done with you."

Thinking about them hurt just as bad as hearing them the first time around. I couldn't believe that I was that bad to him.

I decided that I couldn't handle this. I couldn't just leave him; I couldn't sleep alone knowing that he hated me. I'd forgive him if I had to, but I needed him. I got my phone out and dialed his number, which still had a little red heart next to it. When it picked up, my heart skipped a beat and I thought I would be lucky.

Not so much.

"Hello?" A female voice answered. "Spencer's in the shower right now. This is Jessica."

I was silent. Completely and utterly shocked.

"Um, hello?" She asked. "What's your name... Brooke. The phone says Brooke. Are you there?"

"Jessica, can you do me a favor?" I asked sadly. She hummed as to say yes. "Tell Spencer I love him. And please take good care of him."

"Excuse me?" She asked, but I hung up, and deleted Spencer's number from my phone.

Time to start over, I told myself.