Pangaea: Unsettled Land

Chapter Five

I

The sun was setting in the distance. As Gisela came walking down the path to Lake Maesus, she took in the vivid imagery. It was as if the red sky was fighting with the blue of the lake for her attention. The scene was as beautiful as it had always been. Tall green trees outlined the lake in a horseshoe, much unlike it had been years before. A large brick path was carved in recent times leading to the school it now served. Away from the lake sat a fork in the road. The two directions led to Burrow University or Ankor Village, where she called home. She had just come from her final class for the day and sported a light-blue book bag on her right shoulder. She was glad she brought her black fleece jacket with her, which protected her from the cool air. The temperature always seemed to drop around the lake. The scenery escaped her mind as she neared the lake and she began looking ahead as if in a trance. She badly needed a friend and this was the closest she was going to get tonight. She was going to speak to her mother.

Since her mother died at this lake, Gisela lived in an old house with her grandmother who was downright mean. Her grandmother hadn’t always been that way, but her affections turned bitter after the incident. Home was not as comfortable as it used to be. After the tragedy, her grandmother kept her away from the lake, saying it was too dangerous. The younger Gisela agreed, but the older Gisela went against her wishes. Ever since a path had opened up, she ran out of excuses as to why she shouldn’t visit her mother’s final resting place. She visited the lake every night since starting school at Burrow University four years ago. The shock of what happened to her mother was too much for so little a child and Gisela found it hard to find camaraderie amongst her peers. Then she met Slade. Suddenly, her loneliness had been lifted and the mere thought of being in his presence excited her. He was so different, and so handsome. His friendship gave her the bond she sought at the lake. Little by little, she lessened her visits until they numbered once every month, but tonight was unusual. She had just been to the lake the night before, but something happened to make her revert back to old habits.

Her slow trot came to a halt as she approached the edge of the water. She smoothed her dark blue skirt against the back of her legs and sat at the slope. She rested her chin on top of her knees while hugging her shins. The whole time she stared out into the calm blue of the lake. She reminisced about how she once was so happy to arrive at the lake to swim or ice skate. Now, she wouldn’t even think about touching the water.

She spoke in a subdued, melancholy tone, “Hey.” She didn’t know where to start, but her pressing issue was with Slade. “You’ll probably think I’m being stupid. And I’m a little ashamed to say it, but I feel like I’m losing my friend. Nothing happened, but… I just have this feeling. I love him, but I guess it was crazy to think I ever had a chance.” She paused and searched for the words that would express her true feelings. “I’m just so lonely , Mama. Sometimes it’s so hard living without you. I wish you were here.”

She felt eyes on her and suddenly looked to her right at a group of students who approached the lake. They stole quick glances as if they could fool her into believing they weren’t looking. She knew what they were thinking. She was quiet but not ignorant of the stories that were spun about her. They were whispering now, probably saying, “There she is. She just sits there and talks to herself.” They grew silent as Gisela turned her head to look and began to walk away from her further down the side of the lake. They don’t know anything, Gisela thought. She had grown used to the scrutiny. They don’t know what I know.

Another reason she kept coming back was that she felt something… a presence. She hoped beyond hope it was her mother watching over her from the lake. The voice that spoke out to her when she was little girl sounded like her mother, but her mother was still alive when it spoke. She always wondered what that voice was and questioned whether what had happened was just an accident. It was this mystery that formed the other half of why she always visited the lake. Aside from speaking to her mother, she hoped that someday the lake’s secrets would be revealed.

Gisela never stayed long. The sun was fading fast and there was no way she would stay here without daylight. Gisela grabbed her backpack and slung it over her shoulder as she got up. “Goodnight, Mama.” She turned and walked down the alternate path in the road back home to Ankor.

II

Gisela turned the brass knob on the wooden front door of her two- story house and quietly stepped inside. She hoped she wouldn’t be noticed. Sometimes her grandmother was asleep when she returned, halting any conversations that would take place and allowing Gisela to peacefully re-enter her home and go to her room. Those moments were few and far between, however, and tonight was not one of them.

Gisela felt deflated at the smell of chicken, roasted peppers, and other spices that greeted her as she entered. Her grandmother was awake… and cooking. Gisela slowly closed the door behind her and quietly removed her shoes. She managed to tiptoe up the first of fourteen creaky, wooden stairs without being noticed. Before her foot touched down on the second, her grandmother, grey mane wild and face flushed, swung out from behind the door leading to the kitchen . Her navy blue house dress printed with small red flowers wrinkled as she crossed her arms and her whole face became taut with disdain. “And where have you been?” she asked.

Gisela remained quiet and looked at her grandmother pleadingly. She really didn’t want to argue.

“Look at this place! Look at this place!”

“It’s clean.”

“Damn right it’s clean. I had to do it all myself because someone was out doing God knows what when she should have been here doing the cooking and cleaning,” she huffed, catching her breath. During her tirade, her hands found her way to her hips. “Honestly , sometimes I don’t even know why you’re here. You’re useless.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry, my butt. Now, go upstairs and get ready for dinner.”

“I’m not hungry. ” Gisela turned and quickly jogged up the stairs. She neglected to turn on the light as she entered her room. She slammed the door behind her and flopped face-first onto her bed. She could still hear her grandmother ranting downstairs.

“That’s fine, you little bitch, but whatever you don’t eat tonight’s going in the trash.”

Gisela was so used to these interactions that she didn’t even cry over them anymore. That didn’t make her grandmother’s words any less hurtful. Her mother’s death shattered their relationship. She was the glue that held their little unit together. Gisela remembered a comment her grandmother made to her soon after her mother died, when she was still very young: “If it wasn’t for you, she’d still be here.” It stuck with her for years. After much thought, Gisela concluded that that comment only hurt because it was true. All she could do was try to make up for it by stepping into her mother’s role and take care of her grandmother and the house. But none of it was ever enough. She couldn’t bring her mother back.

She closed her eyes, trying to forget she was even there. She thought about the joy in her life and how it was so fleeting. In fact, the only time she was truly happy was when she was with Slade. She thought about him now – wondered what he might be doing. Had his nights always ended on a note of sadness like hers, or was his life as perfect as she’d imagined?