What Is Going On? [Paperhat Soulmate AU]

black hat freaks

((Authors Note- I'm sorry!!! End of the year was super busy and now I'm at a drama camp that takes up a lot of time. Also, don't add this to SIN SITY BOI or whatever this is a smut-free fanfic. Also over SEVEN thousand reads??? Whaaat (I wrote that a year ago when I planned on publishing this chapter. Didn't delete cause I thought it was funny.)))

Black Hat doesn't understand how he could have let this happen. How could he have let this happen?! Some idiot sneaks into his own house steals his soulmate and he got out undetected? This is unbelievable! He was too busy sulking that he didn't notice this going right beneath his metaphorical nose. He would not make the same mistake again. Not as long as he was alive.

"DEMENTIA! 5.0.5! GET IN HERE NOW!" He screamed, his hands grasped tightly in front behind his back. He was done sulking and he was done moping. Now was the time for work to be done.

"What is it, Black Hat?" Dementia said, rushing into Flug's empty lab, looking concerned and confused. "Where's Flug?"

"Kidnapped." Black Hat responded with gritted teeth. "Some villian probably not satisfied with out products and decided to get an unusual refund. We need to find him."

"Yeah, no duh!" Dementia said, the figurative gears in her head turning full force. "Did the perp leave anything behind?"

"The ruins of Flug's lab, some dog hair, maybe, a camera, and a-"

"Why didn't you lead with the camera?" Dementia said, exasperated, and tore the camera out of the wall, startling 5.0.5.

They popped the old fashioned tape into Flug's comically large VHS player. The video immediately started up. It was feed of Flug just working, business as always. There was a click, and Flug halted in his movement. His gaze turned towards the one small window in his basement lab. The moment he started towards it, a large dog's muzzle smashed through the glass.

"Wasn't that glass bullet proof?" Dementia queried.

"It was, but I guess I forgot dog insurance." Black Hat said, completely serious.

Dementia stared at Black Hat with an exasperated look. She opened her mouth to say something, but shook her head and turned back to the tape.

The dogs body crashed through the window. Then another dog. Just when things couldn't get any weirder, a portly man squeezed his body through the window. Flug probably would have laughed if he wasn't busy being mauled by greyhounds.

The man, rambled on and on about ransom, giving them no indication of where to bring the money or when they were to deliver it. Not very well thought out, but the thought of his soulmate being in the hands of that creep made him shudder.

Flug was dragged out of the room by two dogs by way of  window as the horrible man stood and cackled. He didn't look scared, just tired and exasperated.

"Dementia?" Black Hat said with an icily cool tone. "Do you know this man?"

"Even though he may look like a crappy comic book villian, he's actually just a normal guy. He's a barista at the Starbucks I frequent. Or at least, he used to be. He got fired for some reason and I haven't ran into him recently. Can't remember why he was fired. His name is, if I remember correctly, Killian Johnson."

"Well," Black Hat said, "I'm going to find him and then Killi-him."