shades of cool ; g r u v i a

01

my baby lives in shades of blue, blue eyes, and jazz and attitude he lives in california too, he drives a chevy malibu

He looked over to the pale woman in his passenger seat and placed a cool hand on her left thigh. Never tearing his eyes from the road in front of them, he spoke to the young woman.
"I'm not gonna do it tonight, Juv." He assured her. She knew it was an empty promise; he had said it the last time too. And the time before that. The time before that. The time before that. In fact any time Gray made his way to Lyon's, he did it. It made Juvia sick. She watched as Gray's thin fingers drummed against her thigh in an unsteady rhythm. His eyes jittered all around the road. He was withdrawing, she knew from the many times it had happened before. An instantaneous feeling of dread filled her body and stole her breath. If he didn't use tonight, he could hurt himself, God knew that he was probably in pain already, headache thrumming steadily behind his darting eyes, she could see the dark circles framing them showing the sleepless nights he had had trying to quit the powder. She didn't want him in pain, she loved him more than herself. But if he did use tonight, he'd hurt her. He'd yell and break things he knew were valuable to her. He'd threaten her and their young son's life. Juvia made a silent decision to tolerate the usage of his drug of choice, if only this once. She knew how hard it was to quit it. She knew he was trying so goddamn hard for her and their son. She let a tear slip out of her big blue eyes.
"Are you alright?" Gray asked, voice full of concern.
"Um, y-yeah, I'm fine, Gray." Juvia whispered as she quickly wiped her eyes with her index finger.
"You don't seem fine." He speculated. This time he removed his eyes from the road to look his wife in the eye. She could see the slight shake of the irises. It terrified her.

and when he calls, he calls for me, not for you

The two approached the entrance and with a shaking hand Gray opened the door, his other hand on the small of Juvia's back. He sauntered through the foyer of the home his brother and his girlfriend shared. The loud bass boosted music drilled a hole into Juvia's brain. The bright, blinking, multicolored lights hurt her eyes, she closed them in pain and followed Gray into the living room. He let go of her as he plopped down onto the couch next to Lyon, who was obviously already high as a kite. The razor blades and white residue on the wooden coffee table two feet in front of him was damning evidence. Meredy, Lyon's girlfriend, had just picked up the dollar bill on the table and emptied some of the contents of a small, unmarked bag. Her hands shook uncontrollably, sweat beading on her forehead caused her blush colored hair to stick to it.
"Juv, come here, baby." Gray sighed shakily as he took a drag of the cigarette in his fingers. She had just realized they had been at her brother-in-law's home for forty five minutes and she hadn't sat down. Juvia started towards him as he pulled her to his lap. It was the calm before the storm, she knew. He always got loving before he used. It was like something in him knew that he was going to hurt her. But she never stopped him. He put his cigarette out on the ashtray sitting on the arm of the couch. She knew he could feel her ragged breath and shaking legs. As if reading her mind, he placed a kiss on her neck near her ear. As he lifted his head up, he spoke in her ear.
"I told you I wasn't going to use tonight. I meant it." Juvia felt his hot breath against her skin. It made her shiver. Gray smacked Lyon's forearm to grab his attention, as he was intent on beating his laptop at chess. The machine wasn't even on.
"What?" Lyon looked up, obviously still focused on his laptop.
"I'm gonna go get something to eat. Want anything?" Gray inquired. Juvia could see that he was trembling. As she rose off his lap, she helped him up.
"Nah, I'm good. You sure you don't want a dose?" Lyon turned his focus once more to Juvia and Gray.
"Okay, see ya." Gray clapped Lyon's shoulder and waved to Meredy who lay on the couch adjacent to Lyon. He frantically grabbed Juvia's hand and used his other hand to guide his self through the house. His legs felt like jelly and he couldn't see well.
"Baby, do you want me to drive?" Juvia asked her husband. Even if he didn't, she still would have. It would kill them both if he had driven. He gave a small nod to his cerulean haired bride. As the two neared the door, Juvia watched as Gray slipped down the steps. She saw his eyes roll back into his head and she ran inside the house.

he lives for love, he loves his drugs

She searched for a spoon, a syringe,
cocaine, a lighter, a water bottle, and surgical tubing. She tied the tubing around Gray's large bicep. Juvia mixed the cocaine and water in the spoon and heated it up with the red lighter pointed at the bottom of the utensil. She drew it out with the syringe, eyes blurry with tears. Once the right amount was inside the syringe, she stabbed it into Gray's vein. He almost immediately felt it.
"I'm so sorry Juvia," He felt his hot tears prick his eyes. "I love you so much." The tears rolled down his cheeks. It was heart wrenching to watch and hear her husband struggle. As he rode his high, she sobbed into her hands. He pulled her to his chest and kissed her head. This wouldn't happen again, he would make damn sure of it.

he loves his baby too