Day 50

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Day fifty

Dear Patrick,

In every way that counted,

I was dead.

Inside somewhere maybe I was screaming

And weeping and howling like an animal,

But that was another person deep inside,

Another person who had no access

To the lips and face and mouth and head.

So on the surface I just shrugged and smile and kept moving.

If I could have physically passed away,

Just let it all go, like that,

Without doing anything,

Stepped out of life as easily as walking through a door,

I would have done.

But I was going to sleep at night

And waking in the morning,

Disappointed to be there and resigned to existence.

A.

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