Handicapped Toilet Confessions

All credit in writing this FanFic of My Mad Fat Diary goes to my awesome cousin, Kimberly Chenoweth. (I just slightly did grammatical editing.) She is an amazing writer but unfortunately, she doesn't have a Wattapad account so I offered to upload it on here, and fortunately she said yes. So, for those of you who watch MMFD, enjoy! And, for those of you who don't, start watching MMFD!

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Prompt: Rae lets Finn in to her inner most thoughts.

Rae and Finn were trapped in the handicapped toilet. How had this happened?!?! "OH. MY. GOD. Just breathe, Rae," she spoke to herslf as she glared at Finn. He seemed to be taking the news of them being stuck in a toilet at college well. He dropped his bag on the ground and gave her a sideways glance. 

"You know what this means then, right?" Finn said. "Uhhhh...that we're stuck in a bloody handicapped toilet?" Rae retorted. A grin spread across Finn's face, "Well, you wouldn't let me call for help, what am I supposed to do?" Rae was defeated, "You just...you don't get it. You're an eleven, and...I'm a four."

Confusion flashed across Finn's face. "What are you on about?!" He exclaimed. Rae looked up at his gorgeous, perfect face, she let her eyes skim his entire body, then she sighed. "I've been living in a fantasy, and I know it has to end. People look at us and must think, what's he doing going out with that?"

"That what? What are you bloody on about, Rae?!" Finn looked hurt, he couldn't mask it from his face. "You don't get to tell me how I feel about you, that is mine, all mine, and you are mine, too!" He looked at Rae imploringly as he stepped closer to where she was sitting on the toilet. "When are you going to get it, Rae? I want you. Just you. I don't care about those other girls because I'm up all night thinking about you. I never wanted to talk to anyone, I kept myself at a distance because it was easier and you...you come along and you fucked all that up." Rae opened her mouth to protest, but Finn cut her off. "What I mean is, you make me feel a way I've never felt before. And, I'm not afraid to tell you, because we should be honest, and I hope you can be honest with me..." His voice trailed off.

Rae wanted to be defensive, Finn didn't get it. What it was like to be Rae 24/7, to not have an escape from being her. What could he possibly see in her? But something he said had struck a chord that resonated in her mind. He had said we should be honest, and he was being honest, she could see it written across his perfect face. He was scared and apprehensive and earnest and so many emotions she couldn't even put her finger on. 

She sighed and took a second to think before speaking. "See Finn, you know I love you, right? That will never change. I promise you that. The thing is, I don't fuckin' love myself, it's just really hard." She paused, trying not to cry. "You don't know what it's like waking up and looking in a mirror and being disappointed that you're still you. That you can't find one thing to like about yourself that day." She cast her eyes down, tears pooling, threatening to cascade out.

She took a moment to collect herself, Finn was silent. This had been a bad idea. What was she thinking? Why had she said that to him? If he hadn't wanted to leave before, this would send him running now. She raised her eyes to look at him, Finn's face was turned away from hers, then a sniffle escaped.

Finn turned his face, tears coming down. He wasn't an emotional person, but he had failed. He couldn't even convince the girl he loved that she was so amazing, so...more than anyone had ever been to him. He choked back more tears and with a wavering voice he slowly started to say, "Look Rae, I don't know what to say to that. Because I look at you and I see 1001 reasons why you are amazing and and gorgeous and just perfect. I'm lucky to have you and I've failed, because you deserve someone who makes you feel all of those things."

It wasn't harshly said, Finn's face, his voice, his entire being was covered with defeat. He tried one more time to make her see it. "Rachel Earl, I. love. you. It's that simple and it's that complicated. Won't you just let me fuckin' love you?"

He kneeled down until he was face to face with Rae. "Please, just let me love you. I'm trying my best here." She locked eyes with him. He reallly did love her. She was trying to see it and it was like staring through a haze, but she was starting to figure it out. He really loved her.

A tiny smile crept onto her face. "Oh Finn, why do you say such deliciously perfect things sometimes. I'm so sorry I'm being such a twat about this. I'm really trying, I promise. I just...I love you so much, and I just want to be enough for you."

Finn clasped her hand, gave it a quick peck and looked at her. "You are, Rae. More than enough...really more than I actually deserve. Please believe it." He took a chance and leaned into her for a kiss. She was reluctant at first, but she tilted her head ever so slightly and their lips met. There was that spark, that fire that kept them burning for more. Their lips and tongues entangled, Finn let himself get lost in the moment. She was his, and he would spend every day of his life trying to make her as happy as he possibly could.

Rae let the emotional weight of what she had been carrying, go. Maybe not forever, but at least for  a moment, she was his and he was hers. She loved the way his tongue explored hers, slow and steady, then fast and strong. In her head, she was doing a little happy dance. She knew it wouldn't be the end to her problems, but if they were really in this together, she knew she at least had an ally on her side.