Fading Away

How To Begin This

Well I don't really know how or where to start.

This is mostly for the people who feel the same way.

I'm going to share a story - mine or someone else's.

I don't know if it even is going to reach anyone.

And I don't care if there are any spelling mistakes in here.

Okay, I think we are ready now.

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On this earth lives a woman with quiet a medical history. Not as bad as cancer or a tumor, but not healthy either.

She found out she got scoliosis at the age of thirteen. 

So her back hurts. 

A lot.

But that isn't so bad.

She can deal with it.

After a few years she found out she is fructose intolerance. 

Yeah, really great. 

She can't eat any fruit or chemical ingredients. 

Really good if you are a vegetarian.

She somehow managed to keep living without meat, but after a few month she ate mostly fast food and was gaining weight. Fast.

So she has no other choice than to finish her vegetarian carrier. 

But believe me. 

She did not take it well. 

Until today she refuses to think about the pig's and cow's that have to suffer. 

But she manages to live with it.

After that she found out, that she also had a medical condition called polycystic ovary syndrome or short PCOS. Basically she does not get her period because of hormones. 

Doesn't sound that terrible, now does it?

Well, the bad news are that with this condition you might get sterile if it doesn't get treated.

The treatment isn't that awful either. You just have to take the pill. And you will get your period every month.

So now we got scoliosis, fructose intolerance and PCOS.

But this wasn't enough.

Oh no.

Maybe a year after she found out about the PCOS, she finally did go to the doctor, because she had this queasiness if she got really nervous or had a lot of stress. 

It was kind a like heartburn but not really like it. It's hard to describe. 

Anyways, she saw an internist and after a gastroscopy he told her she had a gastroesophageal reflux disease - short GERD. 

During the gastroscopy she had a needle in her arm because of the infusion.

No big deal to her. She has no problem with needles.

But after a week she noticed a bruise on her right arm, above her elle bow. Were the needle was.

It hurt and did not look so good, but she didn't gave it much thought.

After two weeks the brusie wasn't gone and her forearm was really swollen.

Finally she did go to her doctor again and she transferred her to the hospital. 

Suspicion: Thrombosis.

Great. 

So she spent all the afternoon - alone - in the emergency room with a kid nurse who was wondering why it was such a mess as he took a blood sample. 

Yeah butthead, she had to take blood thinner. 

And after that idiot there were two doctors who did a ultrasound on her forearm. 

The first one was kind of gentle, because the lightest tough did hurt like hell. 

The other wasn't that gentle.

And after ten minutes in hell they finally concluded that a nineteen year old woman had a thrombosis in her arm. 

Just great.

So they send her home and she had to take her blood thinner twice a day, esmeprazol twice a day, magnesium because of the esmeprazol and the pill.

Okay, let me refresh your memory.

Up until now her file said:

- Scoliosis

- Fructose intolerance

- PCOS

- GERD

- Thrombosis

Medication:

- twice a day blood thinner

- twice a day esmeprazol

- 400 magnisum

- the pill

And with all these pills she had to take every day she could feel how her energy vanished right after lunch. In the afternoon she was so wasted that she could just lay down or sleep.

Sadly no one told her she wasn't going to die because the thrombosis was just on the surface and not deep in her veins. 

So after two weeks of thinking she could die any moment, a nice doctor at the check-up told her she has not to worry it wasn't that bad.

In that moment she was so relieved.

And wanted to punch a few doctors in the face for not telling her that.

Okay, so after the doctor cleared her she still thought about something.

The pill.

Before she could take it, she was informed of the risks.

One of them increasing a change of getting thrombosis.

So she called her gynecologist and made an appointment.

She told her to stop immediately and did send her to a specialist to test if she had a gene that was increasing the change of getting a thrombosis.

And after a month she got the letter with her results.

First she only understood half of what she read, but with the help of the internet she figured it out.

And was shocked.

She just wanted to cry and hide in her bedroom.

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So this is her background story.

I am still aware of all the really bad desease's people have and die of every day.

But I think you might understand the point of this story in the next part.