Undecided

Entry Seven

It's not like you just left..

I could see your eyes cruming inwards,

The way your legs avoided mine under desks,

The way your eyes avoided mine by your chest -

But I still hoped that maybe I could be your sun.

You see,

In a world where you're the sunflower,

I'm the moon -

And I'm damn sure you would've gotten rid of me,

At your first given chance..

You left and now I'm crumbling inwards,

Now I'm the one with hollow bones and aching tones,

That burn through my will to live like a match;

Catching flame to my throat..

Catching flame to my lungs.

You believed in me.

I changed my ways for you,

I changed my name for you -

I am no longer the boy I was -

No.. I was no longer the boy I am.

See, the scars on my thighs aren't from your fire,

But from the flame that acts like whiplash on a rollercoaster;

The halt in the ride,

The fault in my pride..

Your smile was all I felt I needed..

I'm sorry mine was so worn;

Torn,

Thrown to pieces,

From the hurricane I caught to arrive where I was,

Before you handed me a ticket,

And I went right the fuck back on..

You're gone and I don't feel safe..

..Please keep me alive..