Erophobia

1 (✵)

"Leave this fucking house again, and I'll add another cut to your throat!"

He turned around quickly and gave you one last threatening glare before slamming the door. All you could do was sit and tremble, afraid of anything more happening to your tired and frail body. Silent tears streamed down your face. The only emotion present in your body was a crushing fear. Eventually, you regained what was left of your confidence and attempted to stand up, ending in you stumbling towards the mat on the floor that you called a bed. While sitting on that dirty, thin piece of foam, you began to delve deep into your thoughts.

How did I end up like this?

"It was your own fault", echoed that sassy voice in your head. She's been there as long as you could remember. "You should do something about it, you know...".

And what do you suggest, Amber? You know there's no chance of me escaping. Last time I tried that, Aspen hunted me down and beat me so bad that I couldn't walk for almost two weeks.

"Pry that window open and jump out of it. You don't serve any purpose or use anyways."

I guess you're right... All I am is a punching bag to that asshole. Maybe things will turn out better in the next life....

"Reincarnation is about as real as your chances of escaping this hellhole."

You stood up slowly, walking over to the square window, taking your final steps. Lifting up the window, you gazed down into the night city below, watching distant cars passing by and listening to the buzz of Philadelphia. You looked at the stars above, giving them one last look, noticing how bright and magnificent the dark sky was. You would miss those stars, but soon enough you would be up there with them - they were waiting for you. Taking a deep breath, you spent the rest of your energy to propel yourself out of the ramshackle apartment. Everything felt like it was in slow motion. All you could feel was the wind against your back. The fast air against your fingertips made you smile.

You were free...

You expected the hard cement to rush up to meet you, but you only awoke with a sudden jolt to find yourself in your bedroom.

Sighing, you checked the time. The clock read 9:36 a.m. and you remembered that you were supposed to record a video again today with Matt and Ryan. You rubbed your temples and contemplated the dream you had last night. Nico, your white husky, whined in concern, but mostly for breakfast.

If only I had the guts to jump from that fucking apartment before. I wish I did... No, don't think like that Y/n. They can't harm you anymore.

Luckily, Aspen was sent to prison, never to come after you again in your Los Angeles apartment. As for Amber, she diminished along with Aspen. You were happy that your schizophrenia subsided and the hallucinations stopped, but it did take years for them to fade away. However, you never truly gained feeling back. When you were alone, a gnawing emptiness chewed at your core, and you couldn't deny that it was there. You had your friends, of course, and they knew of your mental state and the past traumas you've experienced, and they were constantly there by your side to support you. If they knew of Aspen sooner, they would have obviously come to help you immediately. Due to your past relationship, you haven't dated anyone for the past six years and with good reason. You only lived in Philadelphia to pursue a degree in astrophysics. It was something you've been passionate about since you were little, about the age of five. You did achieve it and met Aspen at Drexel University only to fall in love, get mislead and abused by him. Fortunately, you were able to escape by taking a chance and sprinting out of that horrible prison you were trapped in to get help while your abuser was away. Afterwards, you were called to the west coast to work on a project for NASA, which entailed plotting the coordinates of several possible Earth-like planets out in the Milky way for the Kepler mission. Life took a sudden and great turn for you.

You continued to ponder your past and the day ahead until your alarm clock went off at 10 a.m. The shrill beeping of the device sent you back to reality. You hit the alarm a little too hard and hoisted yourself out of your comfortable bed. Once you got ready, you made yourself and Nico some breakfast.

Bzzt. Bzzt.

Picking up your phone, you answered the call from Matt.

"Hey, y/n!"

"What's up, skeleman?"

"Ryan and I were just wondering when you gonna come to record, scar face."

"Those scars are on my neck, you cunt. And I'll come over in about 15 minutes..."

"Cool cool. By the way, I have some new people you'd like to meet. I'm surprised you haven't met them yet, but you know Oneyplays? Ever watch them?"

"Yeah I have a little bit. Lemme guess I'm gonna meet them?"

"Wow who would've guessed!", retorted Matt sarcastically.

"Alright you fucking jew. Can't wait to meet them. I'll see you soon."

"See you, slut!"

You chuckled to yourself and decided to dress casually. Sporting black converse, a grey sweater, and black denim shorts, you made your way out to your car with your hair in a messy bun.

_

Wordlessly, you opened the door to the Game Grump's office. No one had noticed your presence yet, so being the wonderful person you are, you gave the boys a heartfelt greeting,"HEY FAGGOTS, WUSS BRACKIN' IN THIS JOINT!!!"

Whatever food Ryan was holding was now all over the floor, causing Lego to come over and eat the spilt food on the ground. There was no one else around in the office, to your disappointment.

"God FUCKING damn it! Y/N, knock on the damn door before you come barging in!", Ryan yelled as he went to clean up the mess.

"Whoops. Where's Matt and the other guys I'm meeting?"

"Over in the recording room. Jesus you gave me a heart attack."

"I totally did not mean to do that."

Before you went into the recording room, you mentally told yourself to not fuck anything up. You usually hated meeting new people, but watching their channel beforehand calmed your nerves. You opened the door slowly, coming face to face with the three funny men of Youtube.

the beginning of this was too much sorry and i'd love to hear feedback from whoever reads this and thanks!! (7/4/17) - ⚈