An Everlark One-Shots Collection

~3~

Tying knots. Under, over, through, pull, repeat. Under, over, pull, repeat. Under, over, pull, repeat. Over and over again. Tying knots.

Finnick and I sit side by side in his hospital bedroom, consumed with an anxious kind of silence. The rescue team was sent out about six hours ago. There has been no news. For all we know, they could all be dead. Peeta, Gale, Boggs, Annie, Johanna could all be gone right this second and we have no way of knowing.

For the first few hours following Haymitch informing me of the rescue team's departure, I aimlessly wandered around all of 13, as if I was trying to find something but didn't quite understand what. Eventually, I found myself lingering outside of Finnick's door. I realized that what I had been searching for was, if not a sense of simple comfort, someone who understood what I was feeling. Finnick was the only one who came to mind. There was Haymitch, and although I knew he loved Peeta, it was not even comparable to the way I feel about him. The issue is, I'm not quite sure how I feel about him. I know that I've grown to love him, but I can't seem to decide in what way. All I could think of when Haymitch told me about the rescue was the way it might feel holding him in my arms again, telling him that he's safe now, and hearing him tell me the same.

It was as if Finnick was expecting me, because as soon as I went to knock on his door, he opened it from the inside and welcomed me with a weak smile and a tired embrace. I knew when I saw him that he too had been informed of the rescue. And I knew that he also understood the risk the situation posed. For a long time, we said nothing to each other. We stood inside the doorway of his hospital room and held each other, as if we were old friends. I knew that we weren't. And I knew that not long ago, I was plotting to kill him and if I didn't know better, I'd say he was probably thinking up ways to kill me as well. Now, it felt as if all of the sarcastic remarks, the bickering, the distrust, the grudges had all melted away. We had both lost the person who was keeping us together. And now they might be gone for good.

After what had felt like ages, Finnick opened the top drawer of his bedside table and pulled out two undone pieces of thick rope, and I took one without hesitation. I had seen him fiddling with the ropes for weeks. I figured it calmed him, or at least distracted him. And a distraction is what I need most right now.

The clock above the door barely reaches midnight when Haymitch bursts through the door. I stand immediately, clutching the partially tied knot in my hands. It feels as though my heart is going to explode in my chest and it feels so loud I almost wonder if Finnick can hear it beside me. "You both need to come with me," Haymitch says, worry etched across his old, tired face.

Tears begin to well up in my eyes and I feel my thumping heart sink in my chest. I pull on the rope tightly and make myself move my feet. Finnick trails timidly behind me, reaching out for my arm to steady himself. It's not much use, as I am just as much of a nervous wreck as I'm sure he is.

Haymitch leads us to the command center, where President Coin and Plutarch sit waiting for us inside. Beetee greets us in his wheelchair at the door, a grim look on his face. I make myself step through the doors and hesitate. I do not want to sit down. I do not want to hear what they have to say. I want to go back to Finnick's room. I want to tie knots and pretend that none of this is really happening. I want to be far away from here, out in the woods. I want to be in District 12, in the Seam. I want to be with Peeta, or my family. I want to be anywhere but here.

"What is it?" Finnick stammers. "Is there any news?" I can practically hear the heartbreak in his voice, something I'm sure I'd hear in my own.

"Not exactly," Plutarch begins.

"We have reason to believe that Snow is aware of our rescue mission," Coin states, no emotion in her expression.

"What?" I murmur, exasperated. A million things begin racing through my mind at once. If Snow knew about the mission, there's no way he'd let them go. He'd kill the rescue team. And he'd kill the Victors inside the Tribute Center. He'd kill Peeta.