Feeling Alive

Chapter 3

Tony walks towards me and the look on his face scares me. He is fuming and there is death in his eyes, i can see it.

"What are you doing here?" I manage to ask.

"You were not answering my calls or my text messages, I went to look for you at Mark's house but I didn't see your car there so I tracked your phone." he answers back casually.

"What?!" I half scream. What gives him the right to do that.

"Inanna, thats a minor detail. What i really care is who lives in this fucking house."

"Not a minor detail? Really, wow I can't believe you." I manage to unlock the car and open the door but right as I attempt to get inside he graves my arm.

"What are you doing here? Who lives here?" He asked very firmly. Great I hope Bed doesn't notice his little scene and decides to come out.

Right when I was going to answer him I hear the front door of the house open and then followed by footsteps. I close my eyes in defeat and take a deep breath because i know shit is going to go down.

Why today, why is this happening to me right now? I can feel Ben right behind me but I don't dare look at him.

"Is there a problem here?" Ben asks Tony, his tone defiant.

"I don't know, firstyoure going to tell me who you are and what you want with her and then I can tell you if there is a fucking problem." Tony's reply is exactly what I expected.

I am standing in the middle of these two men, inches away from either of the and I begin to feel the heat radiation growing exponentially. I manage to look at Ben, he doesn't notice me looking at him, he is too busy looking Tony dead in the eyes. I know Ben well enough to know that he will never back down from any type of fight or confrontation but I also know him well enough to sence some intimidation towards Tony.

I don't blame him, Tony began modeling at the age of 17 and had been working out ever since. He is about two inches taller than Ben and he is built bigger than Ben. Tony has a face that punches the air out of you just by looking at it. It is as if he had been sculpted my the gods. He has honey colored eyes and light brown hair, his features are all very angular and the full of his lips is something many woman envy. If his physical wasn't enough to intimidate someone the way he dressed and presented himself surely does. He is always dressed in designer from head to toe. He even smells expensive and the car he drives is also like a neon sign that say Look at me, I'm rich. He is very cocky and stuck up, how I fucking hate rich people. But I could never hate Tony, as much as I try I love this man.

"Tony, please let's go, we can talk and I'll tell you everything you need to know. Please dont make a scene, just... lets go please." I plea I don't want anything getting physical right now.

He inhales sharply and agrees, walks back to his car and gets inside. I turn to Ben and tell him to get back inside the house and that I will call him later to explain everything. He dosent even let me finish talking as he turns away from me and walks into his house, slaming the door behing him.

I get inside the car turn it on and begin to drive back to Mark's house. Tony is going to kill me when he finds out that I have been fucking my English professor. I turn the music up to ignore the thoughts in my head; the rest of the drive I listen to Michael Stipe singing about losing his religion.

When we get to Mark's house I park and get out of the car. I feel Tony follow me but he keeps quiet, what's never good. I open the front door an I hear all the notice is coming from the dinning room way at the back of the house. I make my way to my room and right when I'm unlocking the door of my room I see Mark approach us.

"Nice to see you Tony, how have you been?" Mark is surpriced, I can clearly tell but he tries to hide it with being polite.

"I've been fine Mark." Tony replay harshly, he was already in a bad mood and seen Mark is just pushing it.

"Mark is it okay if he comes inside my room and stays here for a while, there are things we have to discuss."

"Yeah, sure." he is thrown off my my kind tone and the fact that I am actually asking for his permission in something. To be honest so am I but at this moment I just wanna get Tony inside at talk to him, I hope we don't really fight today, I don't think I'll have the strength to do that.

We enter my room and as I close the door I can hear Mark's footsteps fade away.

"Talk." he demands.

I begin to go on about Ben and that he was my professor and the adventure we are having. I don't look at his face the whole time, I can't bring myself to do that. When I finish I stay silent, and when he does not replay to me I look up at him. He looks profoundly disappointed and hurt my my story and my words.

"Why? Why would you do that Inanna, he is my age for goodness sake! How would Sophie feel about this, huh? Have you not thought about that? Have you not thought about the disappointment this would bring her. She would be disappointed in you and in me, I should of kept a closer eye on you! Soph would disown me as her brother!"

I have no words to that, he brought mom up and that always opens up my wound and it makes it hard for me to breathe.

"Do you even care for this man? Is he anything to you? Since when did you turn into a hoe that sleeps around with older men, huh? Are you doing it for money or for fun? How many more men?" He has lost it.

"Tony stop, it's not even like that, we have a complicated relationship. Its only him I'm seeing at the moment and I'm no hoe, don't call me that. Thats just cruel coming from you. Tony, he is... nice and he cares for me, he treats me good. I feel worthless and he makes me feel like I do have some value,  even if it's only sexual. He makes me feel wanted, needed and that makes me feel good makes me feel like i could be alive again. Please try to understand that."

I begin to cry and in that moment i feel like another crack in my wall of concrete was just made.

I feel him hug me and shush me, telling me to forgive him and that we will find a way to solve this. We continue to talk and time flies by. He asks me about my therapy and my medicine and I manage to lie to him smoothly and I feel relieved when I don't see any sign of suspicion.

He gets a call at around 6:40 pm, he has a brief conversation in German and clicks. He then tells me that ha has to go attend some sort of business.

"I have to fly out today if possible, but I'll come back in a week or two because there is something we have to discuss. okay? Don't worry about it now. I love you Inanna, take care please and stop this ridiculous fling with that professor." I nod at almost everything he tells me except that last part.

I offer him to walk him to the door.

When we get to the front door I open it and he walks out, he turns around at the doorstep and gives me a kiss on the forehead and tells me he loves me.

"Love how you are taking care of your mom's car, that Plymouth was her life." he whispers at me before he finally turns around and leaves.

I close the door and walk back to my room. Once inside I lock the door and I pop in Charmed inside the DVD player and lay on my bed to watch it. I was finishing up season 5 when I finally begin to drift away into a deep sleep.