Kasey and AJ: University

AJV: Alfred Jones Varsity

[An anthropomorphic porcupine wearing football jersey skating down the sidewalk]

Porcupine: [Is his head] What up I'm Alfred Jones but you can call me AJ. I'm on my way to Equillity University for my first day at college. I've been excited for this ever since grauting highschool. My girlfriend even chose the same University! Doesn't mean I have to be loyal am I right!

[Cuts to the Intro]

AJ: [In his head] As you can see I'm sporting the school's football team jersey I bought on the internet for like $20 way back in highschool. The reason for that is because I actually want in the football team. After all they are the Equillity Porcupine's. [turns his head and listens to far away conversation]

[A female student walks upstair holding her books and bumps into a male college student. Her books fall so she bends over and he grabs her ass. He then lets go.]

Male: Let me know if you want more baby. [He says while walking away]

AJ: [In his head] She doesn't look like she is having the best day. It doesn't seem like that guy is making it any better either. No harm in warning her.

[AJ confronts the female student]

AJ: Hi I'm Alfred Jones but friends call me AJ. What's your name?

Female: I'm Kasey Allie... uhhh... [under her breath] Dickerson

AJ: Well Kasey you're going to want to be careful around here guys are pigs and ONLY after sex.

Kasey: *rolls eyes* How do you know?

AJ: Because I'm one of them! *with a smile on his face*

Kasey: *sigh* So you're saying that ALL men including yourself are a sexist stereotype that television, movies, video games, and other media have made apparent with their characters?! Even if this were a true statement by yourself it is still ignorant because if ALL men are this way then in order for me not to know your theory would mean that I would have never met a man in my entire life! So I ask you Mr. Alfred Jones do you think about your implications before they spew from that vile mouth of yours?

AJ: Uhh... Just be careful okay?

[Man in a tuxedo walks out of the college]

Man: Hello my name is Mr. Addams and it warms my heart to see all of you freshman chose this college. Considering that we are such an open minded school I have asigned unisex dorm mates meaning you can get a boy or a girl as your dorm mate regardless of gender. I have posted the dorm mates chart on this door behind me. Now onto-

[Every freshman except Kasey rushes up to the door to read the charts. Kasey then helps up the Dean.]

Mr. Addams: [Talking to Kasey] Well Ms. Dick-

[Students reading the chart start laugh and Mr. Addams turns towards them.]

Mr. Addams: REAL mature!

AJ: [In his head reading chart] Jones Jones Jones here! and my room mate is Kasey... wait that girl I just met?!

[Kasey follows the Mr. Addams to his office but is cut off by AJ.]

AJ: It looks like we're dorm mates. I guess I can now call you "dorm mate Dick" now huh? [laughs]

Kasey: Your juvenile jokes really give your sex a bad name. In fact it is people just like you who assume that stereotype you mention previous, who ARE that stereotype! And will make sure I talk to Mr. Addams about my displeasure towards you.

[Male Student from before grabs her ass]

Male: I bet your boyfriend Mr. Addams can't treat you like I do. [winks]

[Kasey and Mr. Addams walk into the building. Then AJ confronts the male student]

AJ: I didn't say anything before but-

Male: Hey nice jersey bro. You gonna try out for the team?

AJ: I plan on it why?

Male: Because I'm Ken Addams the captain of the team!

AJ: Oh...okay.

Ken: Now what was it you didn't say before.

AJ: Oh uhhh... how nice your hair is.

[AJ's girlfriend Crystal walks by and confronts the two]

Crystal: Hey good to see my boyfriend and dorm mate are getting along nicely.

AJ: Dorm mate?!

Crystal: Yeah who did you get?

Ken: See ya later roomy. [Ken walks away]

AJ: [Arms crossed trying to look cool] I don't know some hoebag named Kasey.

Crystal: Yeah there are a lot of them here. Anyway hopefully she will stay out of the room for awhile that way I can give my big strong football player a little gift. [Winks]

AJ: Babe one last thing.

Crystal: Yes?

AJ: [In his head] I should warn her about Ken but what she tells him?

AJ: [Out loud] umm... [begins to sweat] I love you.

Crystal: [Laughs because of his nervousness] Ok... love you to.

[Crystal walks away and Mr. Addams comes back out]

Mr. Addams: Mr. Jones? Our first ever real life porcupine. Very nice to meet you sir.

AJ: Thank you.

Mr. Addams: Say... you mind coming to my office that way our conversation can be a little more private?

[AJ nods his head and the next scene cuts to AJ and Mr. Addams in his office.]

Mr. Addams: I just like to know each one of my student's indivisually.

AJ: Sure sure... [looks football trophy behind him]

Mr. Addams: Oh that? That was what we won in last year's Superbowl. I really have to give it to my son Ken for running that last goal. He makes me so proud.

AJ: Yeah... [looks nervous and sad]

Mr. Addams: What's wrong Alfred?

AJ: *deep breath* It's about your son...

Mr. Addams: Oh you've met?

AJ: Yes we have... and he touched a girl innaproiately.

Mr. Addams: Oh I'm sure he was just messing around. [laughs]

AJ: She didn't seem to think it was very funny.

Mr. Addams: [getting mad] You're going to come into my office in my university and accuse my son of grope?! I think I know exactly the person you are Mr. Alfred Jones! Our time is done here!

[AJ leaves the office and is sad]

[AJ then goes to his dorm and gets jumped on by Crystal. Crystal is in langure and has weed in hand.]

Crystal: [excited] How is my big football player.

AJ: [looks sad] I didn't make the team.

Crystal: WHAT?! Didn't you show them all you had like you did with me!

AJ: [points to the alcohol] You're gonna need that for what I am about to tell you.

[Both lay down in AJ's bed]

AJ: I did goto the tryouts and I think it went pretty well but because I'm a porcupine "I can be nothing more than a mascot." *rolls eyes*

Crystal: That's bullshit and you know it. Well... we better not put this stuff to waste. [winks]

AJ: Usually I would be all up in you. [small giggle] But I'm not in the mood.

Crystal: Oh My God! I can't believe this, you're cheating on me!

AJ: No it's not that... It's Ken.

Crystal: Wait... you're gay?

AJ: No! Look he has been touching my dorm mate all day.

Crystal: So?

AJ: She's not like you. She doesn't like that kind of attention.

Crystal: I guess I'm just some whore then?! You know what? We're through and maybe I should go get some from a real football player. MY dorm mate. [Passes out from alcohol]

[Kasey opens the door where she finds AJ smoking pot with Crystal passed out on the floor]

Kasey: I thought you were immature before but now I see you for who you truly are- scum... not only are you scum but your...your...[sad face]...my dormmate.

[Kasey leaves the dorm]

AJ: Kasey wait!

[Kasey walks outside the dorm]

[Ken grabs Kasey's ass and kisses her then walks off]

[AJ walks by Ken and just hides his face that way Ken won't see him]

[In a stormy night, Kasey sits down on a bench infront of her dorm and begins to cry. AJ comes out to confort Kasey.]

AJ: Kasey... I know you've had a rough day settling in and honestly I probably haven't helped the situation. And I can understand if you want to change your dorm mate. But... I know this is an awful excuse but I was honestly nervous talking to you. It's like you brought an emotion that I have never felt with another female. That is I want to know you as a person... you seem very interesting. I'm... I'm sorry Kasey.

[AJ walks back into the dorm while Kasey whipes the tears out of her eyes and gives a smile of relief. The screen turns to Kasey's back with the bench and the credits begin to roll in the stars.]