joshler oneshots

tomorrow, i hope the sky is the color of my bruises

summary:

josh has bruises scattered across his cheekbones, and he drags one leg behind him.

there's blood leaking from a cut above his right eyebrow.

"it's not enough." josh shakes his head.
"it's never enough."

or the one where josh begs tyler to beat him up in a walmart parking lot.

words: 1,121

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josh hates the way his ceiling fan looks.

one of the blades is broken and two others are tilted at an odd angle.

when he turns it on, it makes an odd scraping noise every other turn.

josh thinks it's going to fall down on him one day.

he rolls over and checks his phone again.

3:21 am.

his brightness is up high, and he has to squint to see it before he turns back around and sighs.

he feels so empty.

there's a little spot on the glass window of his heart that he can't get off, and the way it aches has got him sick to his bones.

there's something he's missing.

maybe he's gotten kissed and fucked and loved but they each make up a puzzle piece, and the factory sure fucked up because josh didn't ask for there to be a piece missing.

and god, he's so fucking sick of feeling so dead.

he doesn't want to feel like there's not enough bruises marking his pale skin.

that it's been too long since blood last dried under his fingernails.

he doesn't want to feel like you could lower him into a coffin and drop him in the ground and nothing would change.

he rolls over, and stares at the dirty off white of his wall. his blankets are warm. too warm.

maybe, josh realizes, he just wants someone to beat him up.

make his eyelids purple black.

leave marks blooming all over his cheekbones.

split his lip and knuckles wide open.

kick him in the stomach until he can't breath.

paint an array of pretty blue bruises across his chest, so that he can look just like the sky that's so far above.

he wants blood to stain his teeth, he wants his fingernails to break and for every inch of his goddamn body to ache.

he doesn't want to feel so fucking numb.

he's mindlessly swinging his legs over the side of his bed and pulling on black skinny jeans.