I weave my way through the crowd of students. The bell just rang to end fourth period and I was following the flood of people down the hall to the cafeteria. The usual chatter filled the room as I walked towards my lunch table. When I saw Lovi already in his chairs, I hid behind a brick pillar.
I decided during the weekend that I was going to distance myself from him for a while. I need to dedicate my time to Peter for now on.
Maybe he won't be so unhappy if I focus on him more. Maybe if he see's that I'm pushing Lovi away, he'll stop misbehaving for my attention.
For Peter...I can do this for a little while. I've accepted all of the responsibilities of a parent when Mom died and Daddy snapped. One of them is putting Peter first. I can do this for him...for a while.
I sneak a peek from behind the pillar and see two girls next to him, a petite blonde, who I recognized from the Cooking Club, and a tall, curvy girl from the photography club. The blonde giggled as the other spoke.
"So if we do this, you'll join us for some fun?" She grinned.
Lovi smiled back. "We can do whatever you two want."
"Perfect! We'll have you all to ourselves." The blonde joined in. "Meet us Friday after school?"
"Whatever you say."
The bell rang throughout the building. The tall one sighed. "We have to get to chemistry...See ya, Lovi!"
The girls giggled as they left for class.
I turned away, my shoes squeaking against the floor as I did so, and rushed out of the cafeteria. My eyes stung with tears. Lovi can't like those girls! They can't be with him! He's my Lovi...yet he's not...I don't know. I ran straight to the only place that could calm me right now.
I said bye to Terra and Molly as they left for class. I set up a plan to get back at that cagna (bitch) Kenzie for messing with my Aimi, but I need those two's help. I have to waste my time helping with their clubs on Friday in return.
They and the other stupido club leaders have been bugging me since freshman year. Aimi is all I need. She's avoiding me now, but she'll come back like always.
A squeak echoed through the room and I turned to see Aimi bolt to the left hallway. Damn it, what's wrong now? Even when she was out of sight, I knew exactly where she was going.
I went down each row and scanned over the books on the selves. This isn't working. This isn't distracting me. Usually, being surrounded by so many books makes me feel peaceful, knowing all I have to do is open one and that world inside could become my escape. But not now.
Now my mind is filled with Lovi. He'll never like me like those girls. They're pretty, share interests with him like art and cooking…then there's me.
I'm just quiet and unnoticeable. I've been pushing him away all of my life…Lovi probably just feels sorry for me. I've held him back for too long.
"Damn, this place is so freaking big." Lovi appeared right next to me.
I jumped and dropped the book, causing it to hit the shelf and make a metallic thunk echo through the library.
"L-Lovi…" I whispered.
He realized his mistake and started whispering too.
"Now," He began, picking up my book.
"What's wrong, ragazza?"
A question I've heard too many times in life.
"Nothing." I turned and walked away, but he followed me.
"Bugiardo (liar), now tell me."
I kept walking till he pushed me against the wall, his arms on both sides me of me to keep me there.
"I saw you run from the table, ragazza! Now what's wrong?"
"Nothing!" He stared down at me till I sighed. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" He raised an eyebrow.
"For holding you back." I crossed my arms and stared down at my feet.
He huffed, obviously annoyed with me.
"What are you talking about?"
I raised my head.
"The girls from table…you like them, don't you?"
"Terra and Molly? Of course not, idiota." He flicked me in the forehead with his fingers. I rubbed the stinging skin and slapped his shoulder, mood flaring.
"Now you're the liar! You said Friday-"
"Friday I'm with their clubs. I need them to get back at Kenzie."
"Oh…" I blushed. There I went, jumping to conclusions again…
"I said I'd help you with Kenzie and I will." He promised. I don't know why, but that set me off again.
"Why do you even bother?!" I pushed him away and raced out to the courtyard. He caught up to me like always.
"What's your problem, ragazza?!"
"Why do you do it?!" I yelled, it all rushing out. "Why do you care? Why do you help me and know the right thing to say and never ask anything from me? Why do you do it? Huh? Do you just feel sorry for me?"
Before he could answer, the bell rang, signaling end of the period.
"Forget it." I sighed. "I'm going home."
Lovi and I aren't talking anymore. I pushed him too far, asking all of that. I was too sensitive and over thinking things. Peter got what he wanted, me all to himself. At first, he was overjoyed, but then he realized I wasn't, despite my best efforts to hide it from him.
It's been two weeks. Peter's been trying to cheer me up, even helped me clean last week. He's sweet, but he can't replace Lovi. It's all my fault. Now Lovi eats at Terra and Molly's table with their friends. We don't walk home together anymore either.
Are we really not friends anymore?
