Amuse yourself- Hélène-centric

Authors note

Hey!
So this is mainly based off of "Natasha, Pierre and The Great Comet of 1812" (Dave Malloy) , w/ some inspiring from both the 2016 TV series War and Peace, and the novel War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy.

So again, disclaimer, I don't own any of these characters!

So this story takes place right before Hélène takes the fatal abortion concoction/medicine to rid of her pregnancy.
This event does not happen in the musical, and takes place in the last episode of the 2016 TV series "War and Peace".

Though this is always up for interpretation, I personally believe that her taking the pills was a suicide.
Yes, she took them as a desperate attempt at an abortion, but deep inside I believe she knew that she would die, and she'd accepted it.

She'd become an outcast to society, barely knew who the father of her child might be (probably that obnoxious boris guy) , and not to mention that Anatole is dead and Dolokov is absent from her life.
Her marriage with Pierre backfired, and both of them want nothing to do with each other.
She really didn't know if she had anything to live for.

Throughout the story Hélène looses her sparks of her hope and her flair. And she suddenly just can't do it anymore.
This story follows her thought process as she contemplates her life, and as she wonders if she was ever truly in love.

So on to ships...

Hélène and Anatole in the cannon were having an incestuous, romantic and sexual affair.
The two genuinely were in love with each other, and wanted to be together, no matter how twisted and gross it was viewed as.

Hélène also had genuine feelings for Dolokov, for their sexual and romantic affairs in their cannon were not done without emotion.
Dolokov and Anatole are also romantically and sexually involved with each other.
In fact all three of them are sort of in one big polyamorous relationship.

Hélène also harbors attraction to Natasha, exploring a more softer, pure side to her romantic attraction.

Hélène also lightly delves into her various sexual relationships with loads of men and women, none of which really mattered to her.

Overall this fanfic gives insight into her mind, and her thoughts on what's right and wrong in society.
It shows her humanity, and the anguish she feels at her brother/lover's death.
This displays her platonic affection for Pierre and her guilt for what she did to him, along with her strong romantic attachment to several people in her life.
It explains her motives, and her decisions.
And just helps the reader to see that she's not a bad person, she's just made bad choices.

This will only be like a one part story!

So yah this is rated  pg.13 due to hints at a sexual relationship between the characters, and mentions of suicidal thoughts. Don't worry there's nothing graphic!
There is really no vulgar language, as there is basically no cursing.

and of course, it's warning time!

Warning- one of the ships mentioned is incest (Anatole and Hélène) but it's not abusive, and both show consent.

Warning- In this fic Hélène has fallen into a state of depression, and is highly open to suicide. The fic expresses her suicidal thoughts, so if that makes you uncomfortable, then please don't read!

Warning- there are hints of period typical internalised homophobia and sexism!

also there is some boy x boy, and girl x girl, and boy x girl, so if you have a problem with that, this is not the fic for you!

please respect any creative decisions I've made, and all the ships highlighted in this fanfic! We all have different opinions, and it's best to respect each other!
Enjoy the story! :)