-FREYA POV-
"Imogen, let me in," I bluntly stated as I knocked on the bedroom door. "You need to talk about it, holding it in is going to get you nothing except a one way ticket to depression town and you know it. So open the door and let me in." She shuffled around a bit before opening the door and releasing an exasperated sigh. We both walked over to the bed and took a seat before I even bothered to look around the room, which was completely trashed. A gasp escaped my lips as the sight before me sunk in. The room was absolutely squalid; bags and boxes ripped apart, clothes strewn everywhere, cigarette butts scattering the floor. "What the hell were you looking for?" I asked in a small voice, one which I knew she heard.
"I had another carton of Marlboro's in here but I can't seem to find them anywhere," she explained quietly, staring at the wall.
I knew Jimmy smoked too, so I didn't understand why she didn't ask him. "Well I don't see why you couldn't have just asked Jimmy, he may have placed them somewhere else.... for some odd reason."
Her head snapped towards me, the blank look in her eyes defunct. "I don't want him to see me like this, Freya. He's already saw enough," shaking her head vigorously, she ran a hand through her short versicolored hair.
"Well you can't dwell on it forever, Moe. I know it was a horrible thing to witness and all, but it's in the past, okay?" I sighed and pulled her into a hug. "Things are changed now. Everything's better than it used to be. Especially you, you've made so progress since it happened and we don't want you to turn your attitude back around, alright?"
-IMOGEN POV-
I understood where my sister was coming from, she wanted me to stop despairing abut something that I had absolutely no control over. She wanted me to be in my right state of mind. But she wasn't there, she didn't know what I saw, she didn't know the whole story.
"I know Freya, I just.... it's something that I can't stop from popping up into my head every once in a while, ya know? It's practically one of those cheesy b-rated horror movies where the main character had some retarded and suspenseful event happen in her past and it just keeps having flashbacks throughout the entire movie." I laid down on my back on the bed and dispensed a dry laugh. "My life is turning into an overdramatic chick flick, Frey."
"No it's not, you just can't let things go," she replied, clearly frustrated.
"Well for fucks sake, you don't even know the whole story ok? So lay the fuck off me, would you? I deal with things in my own way, and you need to let me otherwise I'm going to just explode."
"Then tell me, Mo. God, you're already on the verge of bursting? Can't you feel it, the tension? You hold things in, and you don't let anyone else in to try to help you. All I want is for you to be happy, Imogen. I promised mom and dad that I would keep you sane. It's really hard when all you do is push me away," she stood and threw her hands above her head. "it's like you don't want my fucking help! I feel like a god damn failure because I can't do anything to make you happy." slowly she walked to the door, but turned towards me as she gripped the door knob. "I'm starting to think that you use me as a punching bag, don't become a lost cause, Imogen. Because once you do that, nobody is going to be able to help you." with that, she opened the door and slammed it shut behind her.
I stared at the door for a moment and let what she said penetrate my brain. Was I just a loss? I don't mean to push people away, trust is an issue for me obviously. But I refused to let myself believe that I was, even though the voice in the back of my mind was just confirming that I was. I pulled out my phone to call Abi, then saw a tear plop onto my phone screen. I didn't even realize that I was crying until then. I decided not to call her, but to curl up into a ball and let my feelings out. This is the way I cope, and it's a crucial part of my 'soul renewal' process. I don't usually cry much, it only usually happens from being under too much pressure, or just as Freya had said, I hold everything in. I'm afraid of rejection and along with rejection comes humiliation. That's the entire reason I don't tell people things, because once they find out how fucked up I really am, they leave. Everyone leaves sooner or later, and I want to hold onto these guys for as long as I possibly can. Aside from my sister, they were my life savers. They helped me stay grounded. I would do anything for them, but I don't want them to leave, it would kill me.
-two hours later-
"WAKE THE DUCK UP, YOU BEAUTIFUL CREATURE!!" Jimmy shouted as he barged into the room and hopped on top of me. A garbled shout of protest out of my mouth before he pulled me off the bed and threw me over his shoulder, heading to the bathroom. He gently placed me down on the toilet seat and handed me a stack of clothing. "Get dressed, we're gonna go somewhere."
"Jimmy, I don't want to go anywhere." I whined. "I was having such a great time sleeping and then you come and wake me up, what the fuck man?"
He grinned at my obvious anger. "Well, I wanna take you out on an official date!"
"Where..." I questioned, narrowing my eyes.
His grin widened. "You'll just have to wait and see, my darling." he winked and closed the bathroom door behind him. I stared at the door for a couple of minutes and tried to think of the places Jimmy would take me, but knowing how spontaneous as he is, anyone's guess was as good as mine. Sighing to myself, I stood and began to undress to take a shower, because no way in hell was I going anywhere smelling the way I did.
After my shower, I held up the clothes Jimmy had picked for me and studied them carefully. He had given me a pair of plain black skinny jeans and a plain orange tanktop that I had cut on the bottom so there was points. I got dressed and went back to the bedroom to get whatever accessories I needed, but upon opening the door i found stuff laid out on the bed,and I presumed that Jimmy had also picked out the things to go with my outfit. There was a headband had giant eyes on it, a purse that looked like two cherries and the strap was the stem connecting the two cherries, and a pair of plain black moccasins. I put the articles on and made my way to the living area, where my prince was waiting.
I remained in the doorway and studied him while he had a conversation with Freya, who smiled when she saw me. He was wearing a yellow t-shirt that had Pac-man eyes on it and plain black jeans. When my sister's eyes flickered to me, indicating to Jimmy that I was ready, he snapped his head back and i thought his face was going to break into two due to how hard he was smiling. After saying our good bye's to everyone, he lead me off the bus and we walked into the city. It was about 7 p.m. so the sun was just setting and it looked beautiful contrasting with the cityscape. I smiled to myself when I thought that our date would be a picnic at a cute little park or something.
But boy did he prove me wrong.
HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE dat cliffhanger tho. i'm not even sorry. but i'll probably try to update tomorrow, and i'm sorry that it's so short but the date might just be a whole chapter this size on its own? I'm not sure. I'm going to start writing the next chapter right after I publish this sooooooo, it might just be done later today! :) xoxo
