Toxic || Lashton

Chapter 7

August 29, 2016:

"Wake up baby." Luke whispered. I groaned and slowly sat up.

"What is it?" I asked tiredly.

"I want to take you out to breakfast. Get ready." Luke smiled, running out of the room. I shook my head and glanced over at the clock. I rubbed my eyes and brushed my hand through my knotted hair.

I threw the blanket off of me and went over to the bathroom, dragging me feet along as I did so. 

I turned on the shower and as I undressed, I looked at the angry red cuts. The ones I have made the past three days. I wondered if I should do it again, but I decided against it. I got under the hot stream, feeling immediately more calm.

The hot water touched the cuts, wiping away some of the dried blood that seemed to be stained on my wrist. I began crying as I immediately fell to the bottom of the shower. Everything was so... perfect. Before the marriage he was so nice and kind and only ever cared about making me happy. Maybe he is drinking too much. I know how he gets when he is drunk anyway, that is usually why I avoided him when he was drinking. But now that we live together and we basically have an obligation to be around each other; there wasn't a lot of avoiding his problems.

Eventually, I turned off the water and grabbed the light blue towel from the metal rod next to the shower. I open the curtain, examining the amount of steam that was in the room. Most of it was getting sucked in by the vent on the ceiling, but there was still a lot just lingering around the bathroom. I dried myself off and opened the door. I go into the bedroom and see that Luke wasn't there. I assumed he was downstairs.

I close the bedroom door and get myself ready. I pull a jumper over my head and take a deep breath in. I pull down the sleeve slightly, frowning at the sight of my own mistakes. I pull the sleeve back down and grab my cell phone before going downstairs.

"Good morning sweetie. I am going to rinse up and then we'll head out. Give me ten." Luke smiles, kissing me on the cheek and walking up the stairs.

"Okay." I whispered.

I went over into the lounge and sat down on the couch. I turned on the television and went to Netflix. I clicked on where I left off on Law and Order. I put my feet up on the table and start watching the episode, engulfing me into the story line.

It didn't seem like long, but soon enough I heard footsteps shuffling down the stairs. I turned off the television and went back to the foyer. "Hey." I greeted. "Nice shower?" I asked him.

"Yeah. So, let's get ready to go. I was thinking Paul's for breakfast. Sound good?" Luke asked me, tying up his sneakers. 

I nodded, slipping my already tied shoes onto my feet. 

He opened the door for me and I walked out, feeling the fresh air hit my face. Is it finally going to be a good day?

---

"Definitely lesbians." Luke commented.

"I'd say best friends." I responded.

We were playing one of our favourite games; sisters, best friends, or lesbians. One girl had long bleach blonde hair and was wearing a salmon coloured top and shorts, and almost matching flip flops. The other girl was wearing slightly longer jeans, a black tank top with a plaid over shirt. Her hair was short and styled up, a dark brown color. 

Watching for a few more seconds, we see them kiss on the lips. "Fuck." I swore. They gave each other loving looks and I sighed, looking down at the rest of my food I had not finished.

"I am very good at this game." Luke told me.

"Yes you are. But I can't tell if you if that is an accomplishment or not because I am unsure of that myself." I laughed, taking another bite of my eggs. 

Everything seemed to be okay again.

---

It was dinner time. Luke had ordered us some Chinese food and we were sitting at the table, the cardboard boxes all opened. "Hey Ashy?" Luke broke the silence after about ten minutes of us just eating.

"What's up?" I respond, taking another bite of my egg roll.

"Are you cutting again because of... me?" Luke asked me with a frown on his face.

"No of course not." I lied. It wasn't his fault, per say. I am the one inflicting the damage upon myself, but he is the one that is making me feel so bad about myself. Alongside the insults there is the newly found action of him hitting me.

The room went silent again for a couple more minutes. "I'm sorry." Luke apologised. 

I smiled to myself, everything was feeling right again. "It's okay Luke. Just... no more hitting, okay?" I compromised. 

"Yeah, of course. I have just been in a bad mood. You know how I am. I am not like that at all." Luke promised.

And then the most stereotypical abuser line comes out of his mouth. I didn't realise it right away, but of course he didn't mean it.

"It will never happen again."