onlooker - [l.h au]

Kate

December 17 2015 (a year before her death: Present time)~

I constantly have a gnawing feeling in the back of my mind. I feel an impulse to turn around to stare at what feels like a person observing me attentively and intensely. Whether the feeling makes me feel safe or in danger, It is always there. I can not escape it.

Walking through the halls, no one will take a second to acknowledge my presence but somehow, I feel watched. Today, the feeling is not menacing. I feel safe today, I feel as if God sent a guardian to watch over me, today will be okay.

I wonder, does anyone actually look at me and say to themselves, "Hey, isn't that Kate? I wonder how she's doing?" One day, I hope to have a friend that I can trust. Someone I can tell about my constant nagging at the back of my head. But for now, I guess I have to struggle with AP Microeconomics class alone.

Letting out a deep sigh, I stare at the graphs on the paper of my notebook. It's not that I don't understand the concepts, it's that I don't want to do it. I wish school wasn't a thing. I wish we could come out of the womb with everything we needed to know.

Interrupting my thoughts, I felt a tap on my back. Turning around, I see a tall, blonde, blue eyed, boy of a man. Quite stereotypical features yet still this boy is strikingly beautiful. "You look like you're going to be sick, everything alright?" Staring back at me, he actually looks concerned for me. "I'm fine, I just don't want to be here at all right now." It was the truth, just not the complete truth. "That's very understandable considering I wish I wasn't here either... By the way, my name's Luke." The name matches the face, not surprising, "Mine's Kate." "It's very nice to meet you, Kate."